Crazy Ambulance Woman

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I'm glad I don't know this woman, but at the same time, she is pretty cute.

Iguana Woman

It's pretty cool that this is the second reptile-related woman who I like this week.



Iguanas are so cool, and man, I love learning about iguanas from cute girls.

I saw a cute girl at the bank yesterday.

Yup.

Leila K

All I have to do to finish college is to write 1,500 more words on Gadamer. Instead I'm doing this.



When I was ten or eleven, I bought a cassette single of Leila K's Got To Get. I lost the tape shortly thereafter and wasn't able to hear the song again until youtube became a thang. At any rate, she's actually not to bad looking, and Got To Get is still a totally wicked dance tune. Check it out:

Lets Make This Quick.

I'm wicked hella stressed out from finals week. I don't want to spend much time on this.

This morning, Andrew sent me an email with a link to a page about a scarf model he thought was cute and he thought I would think was cute too.



Holy crap! She is cute. If I had more time on my hands, and was a more accountable person in general, I would totally look her up for Andrew like Dwight did for Michael with the chair model in that one episode of The Office.

Second order of business: While she wasn't a woman who I was very attracted to, I was getting an action drink (that's what I call energy drinks) at the gas station this morning and the clerk told me I was cute. I've never had anyone tell me I was cute flat out before, except for the waitress at The Cynch . You know, the one who allegedly used to go around on roller skates. Yeah her, she told me I was cute and then she kissed me on the cheek. I'm not sure if she's a transsexual woman or a drag queen or what, but nevertheless it was a flattering gesture on her part, but I digress. A woman at the gas station told me I was cute this morning, and it was awesome. She was at least 45 and I can't honestly say I was very attracted to her, but my father, who I told about it, thinks I should still go for it. I love my dad.

Finally, on my way home from taking a final, this minivan driven by a soccer mom (It even had those family decals on the back, so I know she had about five kids.) was trying to get into my lane, and I let her in. I'm not sure why, but I'm very often quite attracted to flustered pre-nihilist soccer moms. How that could possibly work itself into a relationship (besides a sordid affair, which is totally not my thing) I'm not sure.

I Quite Enjoy Seeing Cute Girls on Campus.

I was totally planning on listing the cute girls I saw on campus today, but there were about twelve. That's too many to remember. I'll try though.

One was driving a car. One was kind of punkish. One was the secretary of the history department and she was nice and helpful. One had a nose ring and was sort of goth. One was short and kind of frumpy looking and wore a green cardigan. There were others, but that's all I remember.

They Should Build A Statue of Me.

Or they could just name a mountain after me.

Why? Because I'm a twenty five year old man who's never been in a relationship (official or otherwise) with a woman for more than a couple of months. I've been kicked around more times than I care to think about. I've been hurt and stabbed in the back. I've gotten to the point where I would look in the mirror and want to tear my own face off, because I was so sick of being in my body. I survived when, a bright eyed and bushy tailed nineteen year old punk rocker, I came to someone with my heart in my hand, only to have her flip out on me, and two weeks later start screwing the best friend I'd made in Chico by that point. I survived when someone else made it very clear she didn't even respect me or see me as an equal right after one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I've survived after, six years of adolescent longing blossomed into the profound respect of a young adult and allowed me to finally work up the courage to approach a third someone and ask her out, only to have her say she had a boyfriend. I've survived the countless, countless times when friend and friend have picked on my incessantly, calling my every mannerism 'creepy' making me feel like a weak, deplorable, sliver of a man. I've survived more self-hate and loneliness than anyone else I know, and now, tonight, I've come to say 'Fuck you if you don't respect me. I should be your hero' This isn't about my life, or the women in it. This one's for me. I'm more of a man than most will ever be. Most people couldn't imagine going through what I've gone through and still being able to get up in the morning, let alone do the things I've done and make the world a better place in the way I have. I am everything the world needs, and my unimpressive romantic resume hasn't killed me, but has only made me stronger.