Exposé: Hoop Earrings

I've had bad luck all my life. I used to think I was born under a bad sign, but then yesterday when I was in the shower, I realized that actually, God just doesn't owe me any more favors, because he already made hoop earrings for me. So whenever I'm like 'Oh come on God, can't you just put twenty more dollars in my bank account?' he's all like 'No dude. I already gave you hoop earrings. Chill out.'

I was at this website the other day and I discovered that even Freddy Kruger looks hot in hoop earrings.



I have a serious problem.

The first woman with hoop earrings that I can remember liking was this girl in high school named Alejandra. She was seriously cute and wore huge hoop earrings and I kind of had a crush on her, but I also never got to know her very well. I was shy so I only talked to her once or twice. I remember she asked this guy Dan Knox to a Sadie Hawkins dance once, and he declined. If I knew then what I know now, I would have smacked him upside the head for being so stupid.