Fine. I'll have a crush on Judy Greer.

Judy Greer is a character actor. That means she plays these quirky roles that make me fall in love with her, but first of all, in real life she's probably not that way, and in the past I've taken womens' image in the media too seriously, and it's bad. Also, when a hot woman is a character actor, I assume I'm the only one, or at least part of a select few, who have a crush on her, because who else could like a goofball? Of course, that's not the case. I mean, look at Allison Mack. The only reason she's in Smallville is because the production team knew that nerds would want a cute, sorta alternative, girl who they could relate to and thereby get crushes on. Since nerds are the primary target audience for Smallville, it was probably a good move.

But anyway, I've thought Judy Greer was a hot mama ever since my mom rented The Wedding Planner (2001) and What Women Want (2000) and we watched them back to back. Greer is the only worthwhile part of both those movies. And maybe, just maybe, I can relate to her in a way that the other nerds can't...



Hey! I can at least do a big goofy smile like that!

Erin Kwasinski

Last night Erin Kwasinski, a girl who I knew from high school, found me on Facebook and we chopped it up for a little. She noted that I always pretended to have a crush on her to make fun of her when we were in high school. I confessed that I in fact had a huge crush on her in high school, but she was seeing someone. She said that I should have told her, and that the boy she was seeing was a jerk. It was sort of disappointing that I had missed an opportunity, but at the same time, it was nice to know that I had a chance with her after all.

WAGs

Hey, I didn't really find any of the women in this list attractive (I can't get into normal women), but I like it all the same because I didn't know the term 'WAGs' before. I think it's sorta funny. So dig it.

Portia de Rossi

Many people like myself, who like women in a way that is perhaps exceptional, have a celebrity crush. That is, a woman in the media who they have a passionate, ridiculous attraction to above all others. I haven't had one since I stopped being into Tina Fey a month or so ago. Then, I decided to re-watch Arrested Development, and I'd totally forgotten how I love Portia de Rossi with all my heart.

Seriously, the character she plays on Arrested Development is a pretty awful person, and I'm still attracted to her, so that should say something.

Also, back when I watched Arrested Development for the first time, and commented on how de Rossi was the most beautiful woman on earth, EVERY SINGLE TIME the person I said it to would respond 'You know she's a lesbian, right?' which I think is a really stupid thing to say. It's like, what, did they expect me to all of a sudden not think she was attractive because she isn't into men? Besides, it's not like her being gay worsens my chances with her, because there's no way I'm ever going to be within 100 feet of her, let alone have an opportunity to get romantically involved.

And you know what, I'm happy for Ellen. She deserves to have something like that to come home to, because I know her job looks glamorous on TV, but I think if I had to make my living having asinine conversations with dumb celebrities, I would go berserk after the first week. So way to go Ellen. You pop that pussy.

Now I'm going to post tons of pictures of de Rossi because I want her like a shark wants swimmers.

Might As Well Face It.....

Love addiction sucks. Most of the time I can handle it. I'm sort of trying to find a correlation in my behavior. Right now I'm super unhappy about being single, and I've been more active than usual, and I'm not able to concentrate as much. For example, I've been watching less movies and more crappy TV shows that don't require much concentration. Also, my home life has been a little on the chaotic side as of late. Have I been more active? Maybe not. I'm not quite sure.

I've been listening to Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus a lot lately, and I think Nick Cave puts me in the loving feeling.

But yeah, I would so love to be intimately involved with someone at the moment. Like I was watching My Name Is Earl earlier, and there was this episode where Beth Riesgraf plays this girl who's really clingy and insecure, and gets into relationships solely because she lacks the self confidence to face the world alone, and I thought to myself, why can't I find a girl like that.

I guess I should add Beth Riesgraf to the list of women on here.

Nasim Pedrad

I just watched a paradoy of Insane Clown Posse that they did on Saturday Night Live, and the female Juggalo was really cute.



So I looked her up and her name is Nasim Pedrad, and she's really cute.



And that's all!

Exposé: Hoop Earrings

I've had bad luck all my life. I used to think I was born under a bad sign, but then yesterday when I was in the shower, I realized that actually, God just doesn't owe me any more favors, because he already made hoop earrings for me. So whenever I'm like 'Oh come on God, can't you just put twenty more dollars in my bank account?' he's all like 'No dude. I already gave you hoop earrings. Chill out.'

I was at this website the other day and I discovered that even Freddy Kruger looks hot in hoop earrings.



I have a serious problem.

The first woman with hoop earrings that I can remember liking was this girl in high school named Alejandra. She was seriously cute and wore huge hoop earrings and I kind of had a crush on her, but I also never got to know her very well. I was shy so I only talked to her once or twice. I remember she asked this guy Dan Knox to a Sadie Hawkins dance once, and he declined. If I knew then what I know now, I would have smacked him upside the head for being so stupid.