This post is probably going to sound like a broken record.

You know what's great about this blog, it regularly fluctuates between a lighthearted ogling of women, and regular ol' existential crisis. I really think I have the best blog ever. No I don't.

I'd like to think that it all means something, though.

I've been thinking a lot about Heidegger lately. He's best known for his contributions to phenomenology, which he more or less invented as a branch of philosophy, but his contributions to existentialism are seriously crucial. His word for the authentic human experience is 'dasein,' which I believe translates to 'not at home.' He sees the human as so unique and incomprehensible, that ultimately there's no place in the universe that she can fit perfectly. Ultimately, he thinks life for dasein is a constant drift through relationships, passions, interests, etc. unable to ever fully be in sync with any of it.

So often I feel utterly incapable of relating to the entire universe. Everything seems blurry and artificial, like a giant hoax being played on me. I don't understand why people act the way they do, or believe in the things they do, or love the things they do. Hyper-dasein. I blog about this here, because I feel it relates very strongly to the issues I have with women.

I have to wonder, is this foolhearty pursuit at at a sincere, progressive life, ultimately my Achilles’ heel? There has to be something like that in my life. I am not a loved man. The social universe seems to have passed me by. It's like I don't speak the same language as anyone else I've ever met.

To that end, I look at the way my life is going, and I look at where I've been.One day I will be dead. Something big has to happen before that, if there's going to be a happy ending to my story. I don't like the odds.