Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The woman with a costume inspired by Roy Lichtenstein art.



I can't believe how totally, totally awesome this is. I don't know who this woman is, but she is a genius.

Thanks to Super Punch.

Hey fuck you, Bozo.

I've been playing this video game of Matts' and I commented earlier tonight that it's the only thing going right in my life at present. It's nice to have something going right in your life, even if it is virtual and ultimately meaningless.


I was thinking about how I'll probably have to cut my hair in order to find employment, and I don't think I'm willing to make that sacrifice. If I were to cut my hair, that would be compromising the motivating force in my life in order to get a job that I will in all likelihood really hate. Any job that would have me cut my hair will likely further punish my creative side in many other ways. If it had to be one or the other, I'd kill myself before cutting my hair for a job. I really would. It's not one or the other (hopefully), but thems the breaks. I'm almost 30 now, and I'm too old to be compromising the life I want to lead for mere sustenance. I'm a complete loser. There's nothing I've done with my life that couldn't be swept away from the collective potential of the universe in an hour or less, but I'm trying to change that. I'm trying to put forth a life that will provide something for my environment. Another choice that would restrict that possibility for me would be worse than death.

To keep things on point, here's a picture of a woman I found on the Internet that I think is cute. I don't know who she is.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I just remembered that I hate everythng.

I have no job. I have no home. I have a vehicle that stopped running for the umpteenth time yesterday. I've been staying at at Matts' house in Irvine for a while, and it's been like a week now and people are starting to get sick of me. I'm stinky and messy. I know this, and I'm into it. Other people don't like it so much. I'm sitting here watching this show It's Always Sunning In Philadelphia, and at first I thought it was kind of funny, but now I'm getting kind of sick of it. There's this one woman on the show, who at first I thought wasn't that cute, but she wears tight jeans and lo-tops a lot and she pulls it off really well. Other than that, I have no extra-platonic interest in her.

I feel like I need the sage wisdom of someone. For some stupid reason, I thought that if I stayed in Southern California, I'd be able to find a job and place to live that fit into my personality and life goals. So far the only thing I've accomplished since leaving my former position is getting my truck down here, which would be terrific if it worked. I've been trying to get caught up on 30 Rock, so I watched like 3 episodes the other day, and I envy how Tina Fey's character has a sort of mentor that she can go to for advice when her life becomes difficult. I could go to my father, but I'm not sure I'm able to agree with the advice he gives. He might tell me to move back in with him, which I'm not going to do. I started to watch Gladiator the other night, and I felt bad because I don't go to my father to capitalize on his wisdom like the people in that movie do.

I think there may be a belief that some people carry that the two things holding people back are fear and laziness. I don't agree with this view in a socio-political context, but certainly fear and laziness work to hold people back pretty regularly. I'm not really afraid of anything, except for heights and needles. I literally stood fifty feet away from a bear once and fiddled with my new cell phone for a full minute trying to figure out how to get the camera to work before realizing that, were the bear to decide to be mean, I was making the wrong decisions, and I walked away slowly. I'm not afraid of bears. I'm not foolhardy around them, but I'm not afraid of them. But I digress. I think everyone who knows me knows that I'm wicked lazy though. Is that my problem though? There's matters of my life that I haven't been lazy about, yet I don't feel I've been successful anyway. I feel like I need instruction with some things, and I get advice about these things from a lot of people, but none of it seems to be worth listening to. For example, about an hour ago Matts told me I ought to get a haircut if I want to get a job. I told him it depends on the job. He said no it didn't. I gave the example of coffee shops, because alt people work in coffee shops pretty regularly. He said getting a haircut would be especially important for coffee shops, because if you have long hair it could fall into people's coffee. While I see his point, I'm not sure if that would actually be the reason a coffee shop would decline employment to me based on hair. After all, women can be baristas and nobody gives a shit how long their hair is.

I guess the best thing to do at this point would be to try to get up early tomorrow and fix the truck. I needed to write though. It lets off some anxiety.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Will you still like me when you find out I have a weird blog?

I tried to explain this blog to some prospective roommates yesterday (Well, now it's the day before yesterday. You'd think a night-owl like myself would have started making note of the day changing at midnight.) and it was really pretty awkward, I mean, what, exactly is this blog about? Women. It's a blog about women who I like. Usually it's about women who I like in that way but sometimes it's about women who I like the way I like bell hooks or Wanda Sykes. Then sometimes it's about personal drama, and trying to come to terms with human sexuality as the frosting on the cake that is existential crisis.  I think from now on I'm going to tell people this blog is about an existential crisis. It's not a lie, and it sounds a lot better than 'women.'

Perhaps the conversation it was made even more awkward by the fact that only moments before, one of the prospective roommates asked if I was queer, and I didn't answer in the negative. I didn't say yes either. I said 'I don't know.' Which is really pretty true. I've dabbled with the idea of identifying as queer heterosexual, or some other, more open-minded descriptor for my sexuality, but nothing seems to stick. I had a good year or so when I identified as asexual, and that was going okay until I remembered that I liked girls.

I think I've been given way too much time in life to ponder my sexuality and way too little time to practice it. Maybe from now on if someone asks me how I identify I ought to say 'I don't know. Get me laid and I'll get back to you.'

I started an OK Cupid profile as a joke. I was originally going to cave in and venture into that shameful pit of hell known as Internet dating, but (Older readers might recall) I've been so, so hurt by the way that kind of shit has gone down in the past, that I couldn't bring myself to do it. Some random male gave my profile four out of five stars, which is nice of him. I checked out his profile to see if I thought we'd be a good match. He's fairly androgynous looking so I didn't catch on for a while. He mentioned that he's into furries. And I had a thought: in the spectrum of 'I'm trying not to be prejudiced toward you but holy hell is that weird and pathetic and stupid.' Furries rank slightly above Juggalos.

Finally, Matts and I watched Cloverfeild the other night, and then we watched the special features, and the actress from that movie is really, really sarcastic in a way that's delightful to watch on TV but would probably get really bothersome, perhaps even upsetting, if you spent much time with her in real life. I get told I'm too sarcastic pretty regularly, so we'd either be perfect for each-other or a complete and utter nightmare.


That's a nice picture of her. Did you know that she also played Janis Ian in Mean Girls? That's crazy. I had no idea. How the fuck can she act alongside Lindsay Lohan and look like a young kid and then a couple of years later look like she's late 20's early 30's? Oh, Hollywood! You so crazy!

Also, Janis Ian, the songwriter, kicks ass, and it was radstyle that they named the character from Mean Girls after her.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

And I've been putting out fire, WITH GAS-O-LEEEEEEEEEEN!

Earlier tonight this friend who's been crashing here put on that movie Red, and the woman from Weeds is in it. Something about her makes me much more inclined to just be friends with her, even though she's smokin' hot. Anyway as I was viewing the film, I realized that lately I've been horny in the sense that I've been longing for the embrace of the other. The physical admiration of alterity that comes from the sexual experiance. That really sucks, because I'm no good at human sexuality, and I don't even want to have to try to meet someone. I certainly haven't met anyone I want to get involved with since I moved down here. I did meet one woman who at first seemed pretty awesome, but she's married, and she's a Christian, and as a rule, I never trust the Christians. I'm definately, definately not going to bother looking for someone. That's a horrible chore. I just wish the longing feeling wouldn't come about. I wish this world wasn't so set up to be more enjoyable when you're in love. Love is bullshit.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Kate Matelan

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this, but I work for and live with a quadrapalegic dude. He goes to a therapy center called Project Walk. I was there the other day and I grabbed an issue of Life In Action, a magazine about spinal cord injuries, or rather a magazine for people who have spinal cord injuries.
The cover story was by a woman named Kate Matelan, who wrote a couple of stories for the issue. Her writing style is trim and professional, but at the same time has a rad sense of style. She's also pretty damn good looking. A quick Googling shows that she was crowned Miss Wheelchair USA. Don't act like you were aware that contest existed before reading that just now.



Friday, October 28, 2011

Mindy Kaling

The other day I was thinking about how Mindy Kaling is cute. I tried to post about it then but it didn't work, so I'm trying again now.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Hella tips

How the hell are y'all everybody? I'd like to share a few things that I might not be inclined to divuldge were I drink-free.

First, I saw this card at the stor and it made me amourous. I tried to think of a raunchy friend to send it to, but I couldn't think of anyone who I felt the card would be good for, so I guess I'm keeping it.


I kind of had a thing for this woman at my boss' therapy. Found out she's married. I'm okay with that.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

My posts here are probably going to suffer.

Because typing on a tablet is difficult as shit. Earlier today I went to a coffee shop with my roommate. A great man once said 'Cute girls who work at coffee shops are the only reason people go to coffee shops.' and I think this is a quite insightful statement. There were many very cute girls at the shop we went to today. There was a woman using the computer there that I almost thought was this one girl who I had a thing for my frosh year of college. I really screwed up royally with her, and as I sit here I ponder if a similar set of issues has haunted all my dealings in the romantic/sexual. I wish I were more like my new roommate. He manages to be compitent at the things he puts his mind to, whereas I can't help but feel as though I'm making no headway in life. I think I might talk to him about this.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Mary Lynn Rajskub

Man, so like a week ago I watched this movie Firewall, and it was pretty good, and this woman named Mary Lynn Rajskub was in it. The other day I saw an eppisode of It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia and I'm pretty sure she was in that too as the undesirable cousin. I didn't bother to check though.




Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The woman who works at BevMo.


So yesterday, I was at BevMo with Matt. I went to the checkout with both of our puchases, and spent roughly 15 minutes just trying to get alcohol. I had to sign up for a club card to get a sale. Then I had to pull out my card because there wasn't enough cash for everything. Then I couldn't remember my new pin. Then the thing froze up. Super annoying. Anyway, the woman who worked the register was totally chill and I really liked her attitude and outlook on life. Also, I got to talk to her some more becUse I hit a car when I was backing out and I had to go inside to get a pen and paper to write a note. The person in the car I hit had driven off by the time I got out there, so that was that. That's all I can stand to type on this fu/king thing. Goodnight.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Charger Girls

Yesterday, my roommate/boss and I went to see the Chargers play the KC Chiefs. I don't follow football, and I thought the game itself wasn't super exciting, but the overall experience of going to the game was pretty fun and interesting. There were lots and lots of attractive women there. For whatever reason, football uniforms look very becoming on women. That's why women date football players in high school, so they can look all hot in their boyfriend's uniform. I thought the Charger Girls cheerleading squad was sort of interesting. Professional cheerleading seems sort of anti-climatic. In school, cheerleaders go to all sorts of tournaments and do really complex choreography that takes talent and finesse, but if you get really good at that, you go on to play second fiddle for a football team in front of a bunch of drunken rowdy people who will ogle you and care little for the athletic/creative talents beyond their application toward making you sexually appealing. Not only that, but the actually cheers weren't especially impressive. Certainly they took more physical fitness than I've ever been capable of in my lifetime, but that's not saying much of anything. Anyway, I gook some really good pictures of the cheerleaders.





Those guys in the jerseys in the last picture were sitting in front of me. I was in shorts and not wearing any underwear, and at one point they kind of looked over at me, and giggled, so I think they saw my dick. If so, they are indubitably the luckiest people to attend the game.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I just saw a cute girl reading a biology textbook at the Jiffy Lube.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

San Diego

I moved to sunny San Diego a little over a week ago, and I haven't updated in a while because I left my computer when I moved. I started a new job as a care provider, and so far it's been really fucking awesome.

I watched Bridget Jones' Diary the other day, fully expecting to think it was awful, but I actually thought it was really good. I've never much cared for Renee Zellweger. I get the feeling that a lot of people hate her, and I kind of get it, but for the life of me, I can't help but think BJD was a really good movie. It's about this woman who drinks and smokes a lot and thinks she has a weight problem even though she's totally normal. I love cynical, heavy drinking, fuck-not-giving women. I also really like how she was just fat enough so that you could see how she really hated her weight, but at the same time, you recognized that she really was not that large. I could go into better detail, but I watched that movie almost a week ago, and the moment has passed.

At the gym where my client goes, there's a lot of cool kids and a lot of cool girls. I'm not especially interested in any of them. Maybe if I got to know them better, but at the moment, everyone has been really friendly and fun to kick it with and that's totally enough for me. One of the women who works at the gym is in a soccer club, and she has a match today that I'm hoping I can make it to.

The other day, I was getting Indian food at this restaurant that my client turned me on to (Fucking incredible naan!) and there was this tall woman who I was sort of checking out, because I think tall women are great, and I noticed she was there with this cheesy Southern California guy. It seriously reminded me of why I have always hated this half of the state. Cocky people can be annoying, for sure, but if you're going to be cocky, at least be cocky over something worth being cocky about. These Southern California twits are cocky about how plastic and simple-minded they are. I know I'm being really prejudice toward I guy I only saw, but he has a pretty woman in his life, so he deserves my prejudice.

The day before yesterday, I watched Mixed Nuts. I remember seeing it when I was about 11-years-old and thinking it was the funniest movie I had ever seen. It has not aged incredibly well, but it's still worth watching, and Rita Wilson was really cute in it.
Parker Posey is also in the movie. I was really excited to see her name in the beginning credits, because she's my favorite female actor after Cate Blanchett. Unfortunately, she only had a bit part as an angry rollerblader.
Last night, I was out at a bar with some people, and they were talking about somebody they knew who was taking time off work to get a boob job. Can I just, for the record, say that I hate boob jobs, and while I support a woman's right to augment her body however she wants, I really wish boob jobs, and all plastic surgery for that matter, had never been invented. If we really look at it, are empowered, confident women the ones getting all these boob jobs? I'm sure they're getting some of them, but I fear the majority goes to insecure women who have been lead by society to believe they're somehow broken or need to change themselves in order to have worth. I know that I run a blog that has a certain slant on what makes a woman attractive, and in this very post I've plastered a bunch of pictures of beautiful women who fit into a standard, but hypocrite or no, I really, really think we need to remove the disease of societal beauty standards from our world so that we can end the symptoms such as expensive and unnecessary plastic surgery.

Also, I started watching the Bourne Identity for the first time in a while last night, and I'd forgotten that Franka Potente is in that movie. One of the very first posts on here was about her. I kind of decided last night that she's the cutest women I've ever seen. I don't know why the picture says 'oh phillip! i love you.' I stole it off google image search, so there you go.

I've been watching a fuck-ton of movies lately. I also watched The Brave One, and was dully surprised at how good looking Jodie Foster is. When you're as talented as she is, you really don't need to be that handsome, but she is. So good for her.

I also watched Pitch Black, and there was this woman in it named Claudia Black who had a cute accent and was cute looking. I made a 'Who's this?' post about her a while ago, and now I have a movie that I saw her in and I know who she is kind of. Hurray!

I think that's it.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Girls and books

I was a bit taken back when I clicked Stumbleupon earlier this evening and was taken to an article called 'How to Talk to Little Girls.' Perhaps I just have a terrible mind, but I feel a certain song has pretty much made the term 'little girls' synonymous with 'I'm a perv.'

Anyway, the article talks about discussing reading with young women. I thought it was a nice little article, but it also reminded me of when I lived with a woman and her 8-year-old daughter and I would read with her. We read some children's books, but mostly we read Hellboy. It was awesome. She was seriously the coolest kid I've ever met. I was going through some stuff the other day and I found a bunch of pictures she drew for me. Man, I miss the shit out of her. She's probably 10 or 11 now. She can probably read Hellboy all by herself and not need to ask me was a homunculus is.

I also wanted to post this because the article goes into detail about the negative effects of image obsession, and I've been told that I am over-focused on the way women look. I think I've mentioned I've blogged about this commentary in the past about a hundred times, but it still bothers me and I'm going to mention it again. I like the way women look sometimes. That's who I am and that's part of human sexuality. I'd like to believe I don't spend enough time ogling women to qualify as shallow. At the same time, I don't feel it's sensible to shy away from thinking a woman is cute.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Who's this?


Darth Vader Backpack Model

In real life, it's unlikely anyone would actually use this backpack anywhere but a comic book convention. Before you buy one, think to yourself, 'Do I really have the guts to wear this in public?' Also, just don't buy it, because it's a stupid product. I like Star Wars a lot, but that doesn't make it cool to look like you have a small, fluffy Darth Vader clinging to your shoulders.

The Darth Vader backpack people had to find an awfully cute girl to model this monstrosity. Just judging from her looks and being completely shallow, I don't think I'd really like her very much as a person. She looks kind of Hot Topic-ish and she sort of reminds me of the woman in Sex Drive, which was such a dumb movie that I didn't even care for the woman in it even though she was pretty.

Yeah, I just couldn't see myself being happy with the Darth Vader Backpack Model. You know what would be awesome though? Is if Darth Vader had a backpack that looked like her. That would probably really freak her out. Darth Vader rules balls.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Who's this?

I feel like I've seen her in something but I can't place it.

i'm dumk

so the thin is that is fyour with your flyer it can't we that i wish i had a girlfrrind. but of course when it's late at night and you always thing about that sort of stuff you are always and with out............................................. but conscriptions are as consricpstions are and if you drunk enought vodka and yho af then it's okay.



Monday, August 22, 2011

2

I got nothing. I've been sitting here at the keyboard for a few minutes now trying to think of something witty, or poignant, or stimulating to say about this, but in the end, I got nothing.

EDIT: After a good night's sleep I concluded that what I ought to say is that she's pretty and she's probably really nice and, while her predicament isn't anything to be ashamed of, I hope she didn't feel pressured into going on the Tyra Banks show, because what's going on downstairs is her business that she doesn't have to share with anyone else if she doesn't want to.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Lacy Chabert

I was 13 when Lost In Space the movie came out. It was a really crappy movie, but I kind of liked it because of the little ways it depicted the future. I mean, things like space ships and aliens and time travel are pretty run-of-the-mill as far as science fiction goes. What captured my interest was things like the fashion, the small gadgets, stuff like that. Few movies depict things like surgery in the distant future.


Lacy Chabert played Penny in the movie, and I thought she was super cool. She was just beginning her awkward teenage years where she was trying to figure out how to be her own person, while still in the clutches of her family, and that was something I could relate to. Plus, Penny is a cool name. She was all alone up there in space with no friends her age, outcast in her own spaceship/home. Her older sister was able to shack up with that one guy, whom she had a crush on, and she really had no-one. They didn't even really do anything with her character in the movie.

And so, in my awkward and unbecoming pubic stupor, I totally had a thing for her. Now I kind of want to see that movie again, except it really sucked and I probably wouldn't enjoy watching it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Fancis Bean Cobain

First off, I think the name 'Bean' is weird unless you're a British actor with a big pointy nose. Once, I was kicking it with my friend's band The Cysts (from Portland) this girl who called herself Bean started talking to us. She looked to be about 14, if I remember correctly. I talked to her breifly about the movie Shortbus, and she claimed that she felt odd about that movie because she was a dominatrix. Afterwards, we were talking about what a weird person Bean seemed like, and one of the other people said Bean told him she worked with developmentally differently abled people. So either she dominates them or she has two jobs. Or she was lying a lot. I don't know, she was kind of an odd woman.

About a week ago, my whiskermate Mackle, made a post on his blog about a photo set of Francis Bean Cobain. I don't think I'm alone here when I say the whole concept takes some getting used to. A while back I said in a post that Emma Watson would always seem like a young girl to me. With Cobain, it's sort of the same thing, except I was still pretty young when she was born, and I wasn't into music yet, so I didn't know who she was until I was about thirteen or fourteen, and this photo set is the first time I've seen a picture of her since she was a baby.  So it's weird and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I don't really care for the photo set. It looks like a cross between a mid-90's Calvin Klein ad and Suicide Girls. Both those things I find sort of done-to-death. She's pretty cute. I hope she doesn't become a media darling because of who her parents are. If she gets in the public eye, I hope it's for some meaningful contribution that she's made instead. If that doesn't happen, I'm not that crazy about her. Plus, she's too young for me.

That's pretty inconsistent of me, since I have a crush on Marina Bukowski solely because of who her father was.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

soccer soccer soccer. football football football.

I don't have a thing for female soccer players in particular. I was about to say 'but I love me some soccer.' but in truth, I haven't really followed the game for a couple of years. I found this thing the other day, so maybe I'll get back into it. I make this post because I read an article about the 'Sexiest stars of FIFA' the other  night. Obviously, a physically demanding sport like soccer is home to many in-shape women, and I don't think there's anything wrong about getting the hots for female soccer players. Lord knows there's enough assholes who have the hots for that fucking shithead Cristiano Ronaldo. As long as we recognize footballers as athletes first. Or we don't, I mean, not everyone follows football. If you're not a football fan but you're a good-looking-person fan, it seems pretty natural. Moreover, I'd really like to start making a post or two where I don't feel I need to validate this blog because of the disdain of a few people. I guess it's just a bad habit.

Anyway, I can't think of any female soccer player who I have a crush on, but I've always been endeared to Mia Hamm for her contributions in helping to legitimize women's athletics in the public eye, as well as her sounding like a cool person in general.

Man, football is such a good sport. I'm totally going to start watching it again. And playing. As soon as I stop being fat and lazy, I'm totally going to start playing soccer again.

Monday, August 15, 2011

I love Bob Hoskins and other random crap.


I watched Passed Away last night. It's a really good movie that for whatever reason is out of print. It's a 'big family' comedy like Nothing Like The Holidays. I love movies like that.

Bob Hoskins is the star, and as I watched it, I reflected on how much I like Bob Hoskins. I mean, his acting is great, but I like his demeanor too. He's ugly, but in a cool looking way, and something about his personality instantly makes you like him and feel sorry for him if needs be. That's the sort of man I'd like to be. I'd like it if women of intellect and substance found me a wonderful social partner.

I recently lamented over a series of falling outs ('fallings out?')I had with several friends. More recently, something has triggered me to reflect on these. I think it started when I was feeling blue the other day for no real reason, and then I went to a party and got a little drunk and thought about calling one of the former friends to try and reconcile things with her. Luckily I didn't. So I was feeling really down about all this until about the time I finished Passed Away, which was almost exactly 24 hours ago, and I realized that in order to live a meaningful life and leave an honorable legacy, I don't need to have every friendship work out forever. In life, sometimes people wind up hating you, and perhaps it's best not to focus so closely on the people around you, as they generally let you down, but to recognize one's true path.

Also, I think there's a huge problem with feminism killing itself from the inside. Every day I be the best feminist I can be, and if that's not enough for some people, then what does that say about feminism?

This blog generates a TON of controversy and I'm not exactly sure why. Since when is it controversial to like women? To me, that's a part of my every day experience. I mean, this is like starting a blog about blowing my nose, only the subject matter is more fun. Not that I take women for granted, like I do blowing my nose. This blog doesn't reflect the breadth of female caliber, and it isn't intended to. That doesn't mean I don't recognize the breadth of female caliber.

Sometimes I think that I ought to start dating women who I'm not really that into. I think maybe I'd be able to get some stability in the world of dating if I didn't put so much pressure on myself not to fuck up, and I think I wouldn't put so much pressure on myself if I wasn't that into the women I date. I don't really like that idea too much though. First of all, it's rather two-faced. Or maybe not. I mean, I'm not intending to give dates the false presumption that I'm super into them. I've been on dates with women who I'm not that crazy about before, and it's usually nice but kind of uncomfortable, because for me to not be that into a woman who's not into me, it usually has to mean she's like a juggalo or something.

Also, I'm afraid of finding reasons to like a woman, and then convincing myself that she and I are good for each other when we're really not. My last girlfriend and I totally weren't right for each other, and I was pretty sure that was the case from the beginning, but she was into me so I decided to continue plugging away until I decided I was in the relationship 100%. Then she dumped me because we were too different. If I hadn't been so twitterpated I probably would have noticed that sooner.

One of the former friends from the falling outs I mentioned earlier kind of had a crush on me I think, and I didn't reciprocate because I wasn't that into her, and I knew that if I made any effort to get involved with her, I would quickly get really emotionally dependent on her and then we'd break up. The writing was on the wall. She has a boyfriend now who's probably a dirty asshole and I have to wonder if the falling out we had wasn't at least partially due to a part of her resenting me for not dating her. I know there's women in my life who I resent for not dating me. Well, just one really, and it's not so much that she wouldn't date me as that I got the feeling that no matter what she'd always look down on me, even if she said she wanted to be my friend.

I think that's everything I've been meaning to talk about. If everything goes according to plan, I'll be putting up some lighter, more fun posts in the near future. Thanks for reading! Take care!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

This list is kind of stupid.

I found this list on a message board. I don't know where it comes from originally or who wrote it. Some of the items on it seem pretty common sense, and others seem to be anti-kink/sex negative/separatist. Moreover, it oversimplifies a lot of situations that oughtn't be seen in such black and white perspectives. What say you?

This is a handy guide for women who involve themselves with men. I’ve recently received a bunch of comments from men who say that they aren’t rape supporters because they (1) have never “raped” a woman and/or (2) are gay. If you are around a man who claims to be anti-rape, see how he stacks up.

A man is a rape-supporter if…

He has ever sexually engaged with any woman while she was underage, drunk, high, physically restrained, unconscious, or subjected to psychological, physical, economic, or emotional coercion.
He defends the current legal definition of rape and/or opposes making consent a defense.
He has accused a rape victim of having “buyer’s remorse” or wanting to get money from the man.
He has blamed a woman for “putting herself in a situation” where she “could be” attacked.
He has procured a prostitute.
He characterizes prostitution as a “legitimate” “job” “choice” or defends men who purchase prostitutes.
He has ever revealed he conceives of sex as fundamentally transactional.
He has gone to a strip club.
He is anti-abortion.
He is pro-”choice” because he believes abortion access will make women more sexually available.
He frames discussions of pornography in terms of “freedom of speech.”
He watches pornography in which women are depicted.
He watches any pornography in which sexual acts are depicted as a struggle for power or domination, regardless of whether women are present.
He characterizes the self-sexualizing behavior of some women, such as wearing make-up or high heels, as evidence of women’s desire to “get” a man.
He tells or laughs at jokes involving women being attacked, sexually “hoodwinked,” or sexually harassed.
He expresses enjoyment of movies/musicals/TV shows/plays in which women are sexually demeaned or presented as sexual objects
He mocks women who complain about sexual attacks, sexual harassment, street cat-calls, media depictions of women, or other forms of sexual objectification.
He supports sexual “liberation” and claims women would have more sex with (more) men if society did not “inhibit” them.
He states or implies that women who do not want to have sex with men are “inhibited,” “prudes,” “stuck-up,” “man-haters,” or psychologically ill.
He argues that certain male behaviors towards women are “cultural” and therefore not legitimate subjects of feminist attention.
He ever subordinates the interests of women in a given population to the interests of the men in that population, or proceeds in discussions as if the interests of the women are the same as the interests of the men.
He promotes religious or philosophical views in which a woman’s physical/psychological/emotional/sexual well-being is subordinated to a man’s.
He describes female anatomy in terms of penetration, or uses terms referencing the supposed “emptiness” of female anatomy when describing women.
He defends the physical abuse of women on the grounds of “consent.”
He defends the sexualization or sexual abuse of minor females on the grounds of “consent” or “willingness.”
He promotes the idea that women as a class are happier or more fulfilled if they have children, or that they “should” have children.
He argues that people (or just “men”) have sexual “needs.”
He discusses the “types” of women he finds sexually appealing and/or attempts to demean women by telling them he does not find them sexually appealing.
He sexually objectifies lesbians or lesbian sexual activity.
He defends these actions by saying that some women also engage in them.

Friday, August 12, 2011

This day went from a carpe diem sort of morning to a 'Why don't we have more whiskey and cigarettes?' sort of morning within the space of about five minutes. I went to the store for granola and caffeine after breakfast, because chances are I'm going to be hungry again at some point during the day. I forgot to bring a CD with me, so I was listening to the shitty Top 40's radio and this fucking song came on, and it made me reflect how I've been doing in my love life and made me all fucking depressed.

Then at the store there was this cool girl buying groceries and I wanted to talk to her but I didn't. I spent a long ass time in the cereal aisle, because granola is too fucking expensive. Seriously, if I bought a brand new sports car and filled it with granola, I would have paid more for the granola. So I bought Malt-O-Meal® Cinnamon Toasters® instead. As I was trying to decide upon a cereal to enjoy, I heard her talking to this stupid old guy in line. She was hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. We get a lot of PCT hikers in our little town, stopping to stock up on supplies and R&R before going back. She sounded really nice and I should have talked to her, but I didn't. And now I'm really kind of depressed.


Sunday, August 7, 2011

Weekend of the bees.

I mentioned in the previous post that I felt I ought to spend more time socializing. Last Thursday, my father and I went out to the pub. Mac was there with a young and pretty friend of his. I was a little drunk so I told her I was going to give her a beehive haircut.

I tried to look up how to do it on Mac's iphone, but again, I was a little drunk. In the end, no, we did not complete the beehive. First off, you need a lot more equipment than we had: hair spray, combs, hair pins, etc. I did not have any of these things. I went home and got some, and then Mac and his friend The Mayan Cobra picked me up to take me to a party. I figured since the girl was a friend of Mac's she would be at the party, but she had already gone to bed, and I haven't seen her since, but I told her before I left that next time I saw her, it was on.

And I wasn't kidding either. I think styling beehives is going to be my new thing that I do. It takes skill, and it's impressive, and it's fun.

The 'party' that we wound up going to was really crappy. It was four kids sitting around a campfire drinking lousy beer and listening to Slipknot.  We left after a while and we all played video games at Mac's house.

The next day, I went into town to run some errands, and I saw a super-foxy woman. She was wearing rubber boots suitable for working, which I thought was an impressively bold choice, and she had a sticker of a soccer ball on her car, and soccer is my favorite sport. I think there was another reason I liked her, but I can't remember now.

She went into the library, so after I was done with errands, I went in there too. I saw her seated at a table working on her laptop, and I chose not to talk to her, because it looked like she was busy and stuff. I didn't have any reason to go to the library, so I checked out a couple of crappy videos and left. One was It Takes Two which was this really shitty movie about how teens shouldn't hook up on prom night put out by the San Benito Superior Court. I don't think the government should put out these kind of videos. I want my taxes to go to something better. Plus, the movie just really sucked balls.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Gospel According to Bunny

I don't keep it a secret that I'm a pretty avid reader of Lady Bunny Blog. I don't know how she has time to keep up such a fun, insightful, raunchy, and funny blog and be one of the biggest names in drag ever.

I bring this up now, because of a recent post of her's where she talks about having a difficult time convincing an Internet hook-up partner of hers to wear protection.

This post was interesting for a few reasons:

1. Bunny seems shocked that some people really dislike wearing condoms. I don't like condoms that much myself, but I like not getting/spreading disease, and I also like not having kids, so the good outweighs the bad to my mind. Still, I've always known there's a pretty strong movement, both among men who have sex with women, and men who have sex with men, of sincere contempt for condoms. I'm not saying it's a good idea, all I'm saying is that I get how safety could be a turn off for some people. It seems weird that Lady Bunny would be so surprised by all this. Or maybe she's not so much surprised as plain old sick and tired of whiny barebackers.
2. The great Lady Bunny gets laid online? There's an obvious stigma about online dating (or fucking) and I certainly would assume that Bunny wouldn't have to stoop that low. I believe there was a recent article in Village Voice that named her one of the most eligible gay bachelors in New York City. I would think that Lady Bunny could get all the sex she needs without trying to awfully hard. All this makes me think about taking a crack at this online dating stuff. I know a lot of people who do it and are pleased with the results. All my previous attempts at online dating have ended so disastrously that I pretty much concluded that it wasn't for me, but damn, I could stand to go out more.
3. To that end, I can't help but wonder if the lack of sex/relating that is my life is atypical. I mean, I was really reluctant to get involved with anyone while I was unemployed, but I have a job now, and I could stand to spend some time with some people. I know the reclusive shit can be bad for my health and what-have-you. One thing I've been wondering, is what is the average amount of dating/sex that a person has. I've been watching a lot of James Bond movies lately, and I have to assume that James Bond has an above-average amount of sex, but then my friends talking about getting laid now and then, and I think 'That seems like more than average, but how could it be, since the person who's doing it is pretty average.' I don't know. I feel like my approach to dating/sex/women is so fundamentally flawed, that I won't be able to come close to a normal sex/relationship life until I've gone through much introspection and years of expensive therapy. Until then, I have a blog.

On an unrelated note, I saw what is purported to be a recent picture of Casey Anthony.
I still think she's totally cute. I wish I could say that I was less shallow and her controversial past made me turned off to her, but alas. Perhaps the problem is that I didn't in any way follow her court case, and the only reason I know who she is at all is because I would see her picture and say 'Hey, who's that cute woman?' and google her. I'm not even clear on the details of the case. Sometimes it's hard to not care about relatively unimportant mass media hysteria topics, while at the same time having a shallow interest in the people said topics involve. Whatever. This post is to fucking long.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Medford, OR

Medford, Oregon is quite a town.

I went there today to get certification from the state of Oregon to care for a disabled person. There were a few cute girls there. I saw one girl on a Vespa, and I'm not sure what she looked like, because she was decked out in a helmet and all that, but I thought she was cute because she had a Vespa.

There was one point in the trip where I was waiting for my mother to run some errends at Wal*Mart, and I went to go look at the fish. Considering that it's Wal*Mart, they have some pretty cool fish. It reminded me of this incident with this one girl I was dating for a while. For her birthday we went to the Academy of Sciences in San Francisco. They have a really, really impressive aquarium, and we were looking at it, and I saw a leopard shark and I said 'Hey, look at the leopard shark!' A while later, we were looking at the same aquarium and I noticed they had a list of fish species present, I was reading the list, and I read 'leopard shark' but I was thinking in my head tiger shark, which is a much larger, very different shark altogether. I exclaimed 'Wow! They have a leopard shark!' while still having leopard sharks confused with tiger sharks. My then girlfriend said 'We just saw the leopard shark a second ago.' and I was so shy and awkward that I just kind of looked at her funny, because I didn't know how to explain to her my befuddlement. I could go back and explain it to her now, but she's no longer speaking to me, because I am a dirty bastard.

The most impressive thing I saw in Medford was at the Food 4 Less. They had hyphy drinks in glass bottles. I don't think I've ever seen that anywhere else before.



Tuesday, July 26, 2011

A misguided twentysomething

I've been literally screaming in the past five minutes. It takes a pretty steady barrage of irritation to get me this upset. My email was hacked and started spamming everyone in my contacts list. Then I tried to change my password, and it asked for my AT&T Yahoo! ID, which is different from my Yahoo! ID (It's fun to add the '!' to 'Yahoo!'). I had AT&T for my DSL provider like 4 years ago and they attached onto my Yahoo account like a parasite. I haven't used AT&T for years, and yet for some reason I have to remember the stupid password and username they gave me just so I can change my account. Great.

As I was trying to get this all figured out I knocked over a can of diet orange soda and spilled it all over my desk. That's the point when I started screaming.

Anyway, I saw an advertisement for Toyota cars on Yahoo!'s homepage with a cute girl on it and I followed the links back to a commercial on youtube. I think she's seriously cute, but her interest in facebook is horrifyingly opaque.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I swear I had no idea she was 13!


I'm a little embarrassed that I didn't recognize Olivia Wilde as the actor who played 13 on House. At first, I wasn't going to post about it, but then I realized what the post title could read, and I thought that would be hilarious!


Wacky dacky!

Uninspired human sexuality isn't worth writing about.

Since I have a blog about women, I tend to read anything about attraction to women that comes my way. For example, I discovered an article on UGO.com called The Hottest Actresses Of 2011. I was disappointed with what they had to say. Here's why:

11. Mila Kunis
I think it's weird that Mila Kunis is a sex symbol now, considering that the only reason she's a household name is because she voiced the unattractive social outcast on Family Guy. Regardless, it takes no imagination to accuse Kunis of being pretty.

10. Blake lively (sic)
I think I once saw a picture of Blake Lively and thought she was cute, but then I decided that I didn't really care who she was, because I never saw her in anything, and that I can tell she's only been in crappy movies.

9. Rosie Huntinton-Whiteley

Man, motherfuck a Michael Bay. He's doing another Transformers movie? That asshole throws a ton of cash at a putrid blend of everything that sells an action movie, with no remorse or reverence, and churns out another special effects nightmare that everyone will just have to go see, and nobody will be talking about by next year. It's like he won't stop making Transformers sequels until he has caused every film theorist on earth to weep. As far as the woman goes, if she has any substance, it certainly won't show through in a movie like this.

8. Emma Stone
Here it is again. 'The Amazing Spider-Man:' because apparently that series of movies hadn't gotten bad enough. There's a saying in stand up comedy 'Always leave them wanting more.' When it comes to movies based on comic books the saying is more like 'If your audience hasn't become asphyxiated and died by the uninspired crap that you've produced, which takes the source material and treats it like a serial killer treats his victims when he skins them alive and makes clothing from their hide, so that he can wear it about as a shocking reminder to everyone who knew them, if anyone's still breathing, crank out another sequel as fast as you can.'

7. Natalie Portman
As soon as my parents got Netflix, the first thing I did was add every Natalie Portman movie to our queue. That was when I was still in high school, and Natalie Portman has aged sort of like Nirvana. Sure, Nirvana was a great band, but now that high school's over, their music just doesn't have the same gravity that it used to. Portman was the girl for me when I was in high school, because she was in Star Wars and she was all cool and shit, and she is a cool person from what I can tell, but she's not the girl of my dreams anymore. Portman, if you're reading this, I'm friend-zoining you.

6. Jennifer Lawrence
Oh wonderful. They're making another X-Men movie too. I can't wait.

5. Abbie Cornish
I only heard a little bit about Sucker Punch, but wasn't it supposed to be a really bad movie? That's all I have to say about this woman. Oh, and also, she's named after a game hen.

4. Olivia Wilde
I don't know who this woman is, and the plastic smile photo they're using in the UGO article doesn't inspire me to find out.

3. Emma Watson
Once, I was at a party, and I saw my brother's friend's little sister drinking. I thought to myself, 'What the hell is she doing? She's like 12-years-old!' Of course, she's actually of a legal drinking age now, and I'm an old fart, but in my mind she will never be a grown up. I feel the same way about Emma Watson, so stop trying to tell me to have the hots for her.

2. Scarlett Johansson
I've never thought she was that cool. She's a great actor, but when you start out doing Ghost World (which, by the way, is one comic book movie that I stand behind) and end up doing The Island, you haven't endeared yourself to me. Sorry.

1. Minka Kelly
Did you know that UGO stands for Underground Online? I guess they live up to their name, because I've never heard of Minka Kelly or any of the movies she's been in. The article notes that she's in a Charlie's Angels reboot, and I really hate Charlie's Angels, so I guess I'm not enthusiastic about her, but hey, at least she's totes underground.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I need some vodka.

Or better yet, some Scotch.

I'm feeling sort of lonely and horny and I've been bored as shit all day, so I think a night of heavy drinking is in order.

I'm trying to deter myself from drinking alone tonight, because drinking and being lonely isn't always a great combo.

My brother's in town. He and his friends are floating on the river right now, and I was invited, but I wasn't near my phone when he called me. Anyway, I hope they finish up right quick so I can go hang out with them, because they're somebody to drink with. Ay?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

'I'm leaving and I'm never coming back.'


My father and mother were being all grumpy today, and it drove me to start drinking at around 9. I started watching The Godfather Part II, the second DVD, after they went to bed. I got about fifteen minutes in and Kay starts talking about how she's taking the kids and she's leaving, and Michael starts yelling at her and stuff. Anyway, her talk, as well as the way she looked, and her demeanor kind of reminded me of someone from my past. This is someone who I seemed to have a very good thing going with, and this is also someone who's no longer speaking to me.

I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore. Hopefully it won't take much more alcohol to put me out for the evening.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wendy McDoogle or something

I came across this woman named Wendy McDoogle or something, who is commonly known as the Best Buy Girl. I saved a couple of pictures of her because I thought I'd probably need them for WWCL when I'd further researched her. I watched some of her videos on youtube and I decided that her sense of humor was not really my type. Then I went to bed and when I woke up I thought, 'I guess it was okay.' so I'll post the pictures now but I don't remember her name anymore.


I don't think that's even the same person in those photos. There's two different colours of hair.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Rachel Maddow

Sup G?

So this post has been kind of a long time coming. I always thought Rachel Maddow was cute, but political mud-slinging has always sort of rubbed me the wrong way, especially if it's the sort of 'My party can do no wrong. The other party can do no right.' sort of thinking. I always assumed that Maddow would just leave me sort of frustrated by being irrationally steadfast to the democrat agenda. I guess I was being prejudice, because so much news is so crappy. They just don't make 'em like Walter Cronkite anymore, y'know? Anyway, I really never watched much of her show.

Then, earlier today, I watched a clip of her show, and I thought her attitude was really cool, and she recognized that the democrats aren't perfect. Her reporting style sort of treats the political landscape like a friend catching one up on the latest gossip. She also seemed really down to earth. I think a lot of political commentators from both wings get so egotistical that even if they're saying something intelligent you just want them to shut the hell up after a few seconds (Michael Moore and Ann Coulter come to mind). Maddow was more like 'Yo! I'm just doing my thing. Being all political and stuff. Radstyle.'

Here's the clip I watched:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Friday, July 15, 2011

Tina Weinfurther

I was reading an old issue of Time magazine in the bathroom, and I came across an advertisement for a bank that had a picture of Tina Weinfurther, the bank's bigwig something-or-rather. I think it's an investment bank. At one point, I wanted to be a hedge fund manager, because they make a lot of money. It's probably not the most punk rock thing I've ever wanted to do, but still, it would be nice to be successful in ways that the non-punk world (e.g. my parents) would recognize and appreciate. I tried to talk my friend into doing it with me, because he's the sort of person who would know what it is a hedge fund manager does and all that important information. I also read a thing about how to become a hedge fund manager. Turns out it's harder than it looks. You have to convince people to give you their money. I don't think I'd be very good at that.

Just thinking about how much more successful and better looking she is than me makes me want to act like a player hater. I will not though. I will take the high road. Congratulations on being successful and good looking enough to pull of dorky golf clothes, Tina Weinfurther. You should give me some money.

Jane McGonigal

We have a lot of old issues of Time and Smithsonian in our bathroom. I was looking through an old Smithsonian for something to read yesterday, and I came across an article about Jane McGonigal, a game designer who makes games with the expressed intent of improving people's lives and making them smarter. I didn't read the whole article, because I didn't have to spend that much time in the bathroom, but first and foremost, let's reflect on what a huge undertaking that is. After I read the first part of that article, I immediately went to my computer and started playing Postal 2. The premise of Postal 2 is to put the player through a series of tedious tasks that will encourage her to eventually start killing people for fun. This is the sort of thing McGonigal is up against. Educational games have rarely stood up to their non-educational competitors. Oregon Trail is probably the most popular educational game of all time, and the only real fun part of that game was hunting, which was decidedly the least educational aspect. How many times have you been hunting in Oregon Trail and decided to stop after you shot 200 pounds of meat, since you couldn't carry any more back to the wagon? I'm thinking never.
Also, at my elementary school we didn't have enough computers for every student to have one, so we doubled up on computers. When we were playing Oregon Trail, my computer partner was Travis Leech. We decided that I get the keyboard and he get the mouse. It seemed like a pretty egalitarian decision, except what that meant, as it turned out, was that he got to do all the hunting, and I got to type in how many wagon axles to purchase. Oh boy!
Also, at the last LAN party I went to, I got all kinds of hammered, and butted into someone else who was playing, and tried to do a similar thing, where I had the keyboard and he had the mouse. I told him that we would play a lot better because two heads were better than one. My memory of our playing is foggy, but I'm pretty sure we kicked major ass. We were playing Half Life 2 Deathmatch, I think.

Women who are into video games is another aspect of Jane McGonigal's interview that I find sort of curious. I was really into computer games in high school, and at the time, there were few boys and fewer girls who were into computer games. After high school, I started to develop a stimulating social life, and I dropped video games in a big way. Apparently, at some point after this, women began playing video games much more than before. A friend told me it was the introduction of World of Warcraft that brought this on. I've never played World of Warcraft, and nothing about the premise has ever made it sound appealing to me. At any rate, if girls are into video games now, this is a dramatic and perplexing change to the subject matter that men and women can have in common. This is actually something that's been my undoing at times, because I still am not that into video games. Sure, they're a great way to waste time and it's something to do when you're listening to music on your computer, but beyond that, I'm not passionate about video games. I've literally had women try to talk to me about video games and I've been at a loss on numerous occasions. So now I'm getting passed up by women because I don't have enough video game experience. Wow. I'm not saying 'wow' like the abbreviation for 'World of Warcraft.' I'm saying 'Wow' like 'Wow, that's fucking weird.'
Jane McGonigal should produce a game that helps me to know more about video games for when I have to talk to women about them.

Also, my high school chemistry teacher was named Mr. McGonigal. I wonder if they're related.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Sarah Chalke


My mom was watching Scrubs and I came in and watched it for a little bit, and something happened where Dr. Elliot got dumped or whatever, and I said 'She is a really beautiful woman.' and my mother said 'Ew. Really? She has a squishy face.' and I said 'Yes mother. You're much more beautiful than she is.' because that's what I've been taught to say to my mom.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Staci Keanan


I've been watching Step By Step recently, and Dana is a pretty rad character. I mean, she's all standing up for herself all the time and don't take no shit. She's mean to Cody, which sucks, because Cody has a heart of gold, and he doesn't deserve that attitude.

Did you know that Cody was kicked off Step By Step for a while because of allegations of domestic violence? Crazy.

Also, the girl who did the voice of Ducky in Land Before Time died when she was 10 years old? Horrid.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Rachel Roth

You may not know this about me, but I've seen the majority of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's movies. Some I've seen multiple times. It started because somebody gave my brother a copy of Passport to Paris that they didn't want, and then he got really into the Olsen twins, mostly as a joke but possibly also because they spoke to his adolescent romantic interests (but probably just as a joke) and so for his birthday one year I got him a whole box of used Olsen twins movies and we watched them together. I think the willingness to watch unmitigated straight-to-video stuff like this is something that only people will get if they grew up in houses with no cable and not being allowed to watch PG-13 movies. Or maybe I'm just a seriously weird person who is willing to watch Olsen twins movies. My brother and I also discussed creating various revisions of Passport To Paris, my favorite being Jihad to Jerusalem, but that's not a very nice joke.

Sometimes when I'm feeling stressed I like to watch simple movies that won't suck up a lot of emotional/intellectual energy for me to enjoy. It's sort of a bad habit, because I'm still never seen Seven Samurai but I've watched Casper like a hundred fucking times. A few weeks ago, I had a night where I wanted something brainless and lighthearted, and I'd previously found a box in the closet that had all the old Olsen twins movies in it. I chose Winning London, which is one they made when they were teenagers. The film co-stars a woman named Rachel Roth. It's a confused and poorly edited movie, where a simple plot is stretched out by tired gimmicks and dull montages. As such, Rachel Roth's character is as one-dimensional as it gets. She wasn't even given a superficial character quirk to hobble her through the film, and the movie even goes to describer her as 'just a typical high school girl' (I paraphrase).

But she had a certain likeable quality on the screen that made me interested in her. As an actor, she hasn't done much else. She was in a series called Titus that I don't know anything about, and that's almost it.