I have no job. I have no home. I have a vehicle that stopped running for the umpteenth time yesterday. I've been staying at at Matts' house in Irvine for a while, and it's been like a week now and people are starting to get sick of me. I'm stinky and messy. I know this, and I'm into it. Other people don't like it so much. I'm sitting here watching this show It's Always Sunning In Philadelphia, and at first I thought it was kind of funny, but now I'm getting kind of sick of it. There's this one woman on the show, who at first I thought wasn't that cute, but she wears tight jeans and lo-tops a lot and she pulls it off really well. Other than that, I have no extra-platonic interest in her.
I think there may be a belief that some people carry that the two things holding people back are fear and laziness. I don't agree with this view in a socio-political context, but certainly fear and laziness work to hold people back pretty regularly. I'm not really afraid of anything, except for heights and needles. I literally stood fifty feet away from a bear once and fiddled with my new cell phone for a full minute trying to figure out how to get the camera to work before realizing that, were the bear to decide to be mean, I was making the wrong decisions, and I walked away slowly. I'm not afraid of bears. I'm not foolhardy around them, but I'm not afraid of them. But I digress. I think everyone who knows me knows that I'm wicked lazy though. Is that my problem though? There's matters of my life that I haven't been lazy about, yet I don't feel I've been successful anyway. I feel like I need instruction with some things, and I get advice about these things from a lot of people, but none of it seems to be worth listening to. For example, about an hour ago Matts told me I ought to get a haircut if I want to get a job. I told him it depends on the job. He said no it didn't. I gave the example of coffee shops, because alt people work in coffee shops pretty regularly. He said getting a haircut would be especially important for coffee shops, because if you have long hair it could fall into people's coffee. While I see his point, I'm not sure if that would actually be the reason a coffee shop would decline employment to me based on hair. After all, women can be baristas and nobody gives a shit how long their hair is.
I guess the best thing to do at this point would be to try to get up early tomorrow and fix the truck. I needed to write though. It lets off some anxiety.