Friday, February 26, 2010

Joanna Newsom

So Drew Danburry just posted in his blog about Joanna Newsom, and I don't know who she is really, but she's pretty cute.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Irina Pantaeva

I just finished watching As Far As My Feet Will Carry Me (2001) and Irina Pantaeva plays a girl and she's cute.


You know, for a fun and goofy hat, that is one ugly ass hat.

Sloan: Owner of The Wooden Horse

This is why I write this blog. I mean, I don't really care if I think Kathy Ireland, Emmy Rossum, or Franka Potente are attractive. Who doesn't? What I want to chronicle here is the times when I think fondly of a woman for totally outlandish reasons.

So my eternal homegirl and whiskermate, Rachel sent me a bunch of magazines that have advertisements for stuff to do with kids in the bay area. The thinking was that I could go through and send applications to any of the places that sounded like they'd be fun to work at. I was checking out the website for The Wooden Horse, which one of those alternative toy stores. I have a crush on the woman who owns the place, because she owns a toy store.


Of course, maybe that's not that cool. I read a biography of Charles P. Lazarus, who started Toys я' Us. It turns out that he started the company after realizing that kids break toys and thus parents are always buying new ones. What a creep! I hope Sloan isn't a creep like him. I also hope she gives me a job.

I Just Double Checked.

Felicia Day was NOT the woman who played Willow on Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

So now I officially have a crush on her.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Felicia Day is the woman who played Willow on Buffy, isn't she?

Yeah, she's cute, but personality wise she does not make me enthusiastic.

Felicia Day

Apparently this woman has a web video series that's about World of Warcraft or something similar. I'm not going to bother watching it because it's probably stupid. I mean, it sounds like a bunch of video game in-jokes that only video game people would get, and they wouldn't even be that funny once a video game person explained them to me. She is cute as a button, though.


You know when a woman says something like 'My longest relationship has been with Eric, my vibrator.' Nobody says that in real life, but Jenna said something to that effect on 30 Rock. I bring it up because I wish I could be a vibrator. I mean, I wish I had that sort of reliability. I wish I was something that a woman could depend on through good times and bad.

My father's forced me to start working for him since I don't have a job and I'm living with him. I'd kind of like to spend the rest of the night drinking and feeling lonely, but I feel I oughtn't because I'm going to have to get up early tomorrow so I can help plant fruit trees.

Nadya Suleman

So I don't follow stupid news, which is the upside of the fact that I really don't follow the news at all. That means that earlier today when I saw a picture of Nadya Suleman (AKA Octomom) as I was checking my email, I was surprised to find she was kinda good looking. I mean, she's not the most attractive looking woman on earth, but she's certainly okay.


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Good Looking Woman of Colour in Fort Jones

I saw a handsome woman of colour in Fort Jones, CA yesterday as I was driving through to Yreka, CA. I mention that she was non-white only because that's a pretty exceptional thing for Fort Jones. The whole valley is pretty white bread.

I have a pretty huge crush on Lil Pocket Knife at this point, so if you know her put in a good word for me.

Friday, February 19, 2010

I Have A Crush On Pretty Much Every Girl In This Video.

Check out the guy with the Einsturzende Neubauten shirt in the front row. That's me at pretty much every show. Too uninhibited to stand and try to look cool, but too nerdy to dance and look cool. I hope that guy gets laid all the time. He deserves it.

Erykah Badu

Especially because of her fashion sense. She seems like a really legitimate and cool person.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Graziella Granata and her shapely figure.

I really don't consider myself a 'boob guy.' I mean, breasts are nice, but they're certainly not the number one physical feature for me. When I was growing up, boobs were a big thing, both literally and figuratively. Pamella Anderson, Cindy Crawford, and Jenny McCartney were the sex symbols of the day, and as they were presented at the time, they lacked substance, and while a physically attractive woman is a physically attractive woman, even as a youth I was drawn to more intellectual women. Breast appreciation has, to me, always seemed sort of lowbrow and shallow, and just generally something I looked down on.

Well, it's time for me to get off my high horse.

Last night, I was watching Slaughter of The Vampires (1962), and Graziella Granata, who plays the leading lady, had a voluptuous chest that I found very, um, enticing.


Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Dora Doll

So as I'm writing this, I'm putting all my CDs onto my computer. While at other times in my life, I would have scoffed at such an activity, I've lost, had stolen, or simply misplaced so many irreplaceable albums that I am totally for having them backed up.

My friend Barbara Manning used to have these awesome record listening parties at her house. She did it every Thursday, and it was really the highlight of my week. During that time, she gave me a bunch of stuff from old bands she'd been in, or solo work. I was just now copying a split her band, Glands of External Secretion did with another band, Prick Decay. I was looking through the book, and Dora Doll from Prick Decay is super cute.

She's on the left, I assume.

I was born in 1984, so during the late 80's and early 90's, I was sort of formulating my foundation for what was cool for the first time. I feel really lucky to have been able to do this, because I love the pseudo-grunge/indie look that women had at this time. Also, the Generation X period was just an extremely intriguing and lovable time in the history of pop culture.

Monday, February 15, 2010

THOR Girls

I hate to admit this, but one of the huge reasons I've had limited success as a musician/person in a band is that I get so excited about making music that I wind up putting the cart before the horse. Although, I do want to pat myself on the back for writing 1½ songs last night, and both of them rock balls.

So seriously, I have a list of bands that I want to play with when I finally get the band together and am able to go on tour. Last night, I was wondering how hard it would be to get a show with Jon Mikl Thor, who is probably the most incredible polymath of our time. Apart from singing in a hair metal band and being a weightlifter, he's also the star of Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare, which is such an inexplicably amazing film.

So I was on his website last night, and I started goofing off, and I found his merch page. He has some hot mamacitas modeling his shirts.





Saturday, February 13, 2010

Danica Patrick


Okay, so apparently I'm the last person on earth to hear about Danica Patrick. I don't follow motor-racing. Sue me.

Jolanta Banas

So in Smithsonian magazine this month, they did an article on the difficulty in preserving Auschwitz. I didn't read the article, but it makes sense. I mean, the Nazis probably didn't build Auschwitz thinking it needed to last forever, and plus, there's all this little stuff that one doesn't immediately think about.

According to Jolanta Banas, 'Our main problem is sheer numbers. We measure shoes in the ten thousands.' She's, of course, talking about shoes that were worn by the prisoners of Auschwitz. Apparently they keep stuff like that.

Who is Jolanta Banas? Why, she's the preservation director at Auschwitz. She's also a very cute woman. The picture of her on the Auschwitz website doesn't show off her adorable Kirsten Dunst dimples very well, so I tried to take a picture of the picture that was in Smithsonian. That didn't come out very well either. So I present two equally dissatisfying pictures.



I also wanted to mention that Hailey Wojcik emailed a flyer out to her mailing list, which I am part of. She looks very good in this picture.


Oh yeah, and here's the download link in case you're interested.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Dany Verissimo

So I just finished watching District B13 (2004) and it was a really awesome really stupid action movie that I was surprised to find wasn't directed by Neveldine/Taylor. The woman who plays Lola, the main character's sister, in the movie, is French actor & model Dany Verissimo. She's totally cute in the beginning, but toward the end she gets kind of drugged out and I'm not really a fan of that look.


Isn't it funny how so many models are also good at being actors? I mean, you see 'actress and model' all the time, but you never see 'actress and scientist' or 'actress and janitor.' Say, I wonder if film companies are more interested in what women look like than their talent for acting. Also, I must hang my head in shame, because in making this blog, and admitting that I was attracted to Verissimo, I am living proof that this method of trashy filmmaking is effective.

Still, if they got someone else to play Lola, I would have enjoyed the film just as much. Honestly I would have. I mean, I seriously believe that Philip Seymour Hoffman should play Catwoman in a movie, and I'm not attracted to him. So while I recognize that I'm part of the problem, at least I'm sort of above the problem.

Yulia Tymoshenko Defeated


Yulia Tymoshenko, who is, in my estimation, the prettiest politician on the globe, became the runner up in the vote for the president of Ukraine in a runoff election last Sunday, February 7th. I know nothing of her politics, so for all I know she would make a terrible president. Still, my condolences go out to her. I'm a sucker like that.

Maybe that's all I want to post right now.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Tina Fey is a Likable Sort of Woman, of Course.

I got tired of having the armpit picture being the first thing people see when they click on my blog.




Saturday, February 6, 2010

Axilla Model

I learned something today. The technical term for an armpit is 'axilla.' I wonder if the plural is 'axillas' or 'axilli.'

Now, here's something you might not know. I adore women who shave little or none of their body hair. Hairy armpits, hairy legs I think it's so, so cute. I used to be part of the Chico State chapter of Pride, and there was this one girl there who was little and spunky and had a sort of Olsen twin demeanor, and to that end, she effectively portrayed no lesbian stereotypes. Once we were working on some sort of demonstration or something, and she bent over to pick something up, and she had the most adorable trail of lower back hair leading out of her butt crack. Seriously.

I probably just lost half of my readers.

But anyway, about a minute ago, I discovered that the woman on the Wikipedia page for Axilla (or armpit) has a cute little hairy armpit. Check it out:


I might also add, that liking weird things about women, like body hair, really sucks, because people just wind up thinking you're a creeper. People think I'm a creeper a lot of times. It really bothers me. I don't really want to talk about it.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Hailey Wojcik

So Herbivore Clothing Company is selling underwear that says Veganism is for Lovers. I've been vegan for something like five years now, and my conquests as a lover leave me unsatisfied. It's not even noon and I'm already depressed. This is why I'd rather sleep in.

In news that's more directly related to the discussions held within this blog, there's this singer/songwriter from New York City named Hailey Wojcik. Back in the day, I became a fan of her when she posted this video where she was dressed as a dinosaur.

I am very outspoken in my belief that dinosaurs and rock n' roll go very well together. Granted, what Wojcik is doing isn't very rockin' but that's okay. I still have a crush on her.

Anyway, she just made a new Kafkaesque video. She's still cute, but she's no longer dressed like a dinosaur.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Charlotte Gainsbourg

I was just skimming through a recent issue of Time Magazine, and there was an article in the music section about some new singer/songwriter named Charlotte Gainsbourg. I admittedly don't know anything about her music, and I admittedly think it's probably really boring and terrible, but she's got the slinky, no-nonsense look down very well.


Monday, February 1, 2010


My shrink believes that if I start taking a fairly heavy dose of anti-depressants, get more exercise, get on a better sleep schedule, and keep up with counseling, that I'll be able to conquer depression at least until I have some sort of mortifying life experience. This is good news, because I am so blue right now that I can't stand it.

I tried to do the make more friends thing today. I messaged this girl on okcupid who messaged me back in the day because we both like Richard Brautigan, and I told her that I really just wanted a solid foundation of friendships and was she interested in that. Then I messaged Crissy Belle and told her more or less the same thing. Finally, I e-mailed some gal off craigslist who sounded cool. None of them got back to me. I can't even make any new friends. That's how totally fucked I am with women.

I do have one friend who I made recently, Rachel. Her husband, Ali, sent me a bunch of pictures that we took on our outing together, and I finally got to see them because I can download them on my parents' computer.


With Rachel's glasses on, my facial structure bears a striking resemblance to Jennifer, so she probably should have dated me, because rest assured that we would have had very good looking children together.

Also, that picture was taken at Los Dos Gallos.