I love Bob Hoskins and other random crap.

I watched Passed Away last night. It's a really good movie that for whatever reason is out of print. It's a 'big family' comedy like Nothing Like The Holidays. I love movies like that.

Bob Hoskins is the star, and as I watched it, I reflected on how much I like Bob Hoskins. I mean, his acting is great, but I like his demeanor too. He's ugly, but in a cool looking way, and something about his personality instantly makes you like him and feel sorry for him if needs be. That's the sort of man I'd like to be. I'd like it if women of intellect and substance found me a wonderful social partner.

I recently lamented over a series of falling outs ('fallings out?')I had with several friends. More recently, something has triggered me to reflect on these. I think it started when I was feeling blue the other day for no real reason, and then I went to a party and got a little drunk and thought about calling one of the former friends to try and reconcile things with her. Luckily I didn't. So I was feeling really down about all this until about the time I finished Passed Away, which was almost exactly 24 hours ago, and I realized that in order to live a meaningful life and leave an honorable legacy, I don't need to have every friendship work out forever. In life, sometimes people wind up hating you, and perhaps it's best not to focus so closely on the people around you, as they generally let you down, but to recognize one's true path.

Also, I think there's a huge problem with feminism killing itself from the inside. Every day I be the best feminist I can be, and if that's not enough for some people, then what does that say about feminism?

This blog generates a TON of controversy and I'm not exactly sure why. Since when is it controversial to like women? To me, that's a part of my every day experience. I mean, this is like starting a blog about blowing my nose, only the subject matter is more fun. Not that I take women for granted, like I do blowing my nose. This blog doesn't reflect the breadth of female caliber, and it isn't intended to. That doesn't mean I don't recognize the breadth of female caliber.

Sometimes I think that I ought to start dating women who I'm not really that into. I think maybe I'd be able to get some stability in the world of dating if I didn't put so much pressure on myself not to fuck up, and I think I wouldn't put so much pressure on myself if I wasn't that into the women I date. I don't really like that idea too much though. First of all, it's rather two-faced. Or maybe not. I mean, I'm not intending to give dates the false presumption that I'm super into them. I've been on dates with women who I'm not that crazy about before, and it's usually nice but kind of uncomfortable, because for me to not be that into a woman who's not into me, it usually has to mean she's like a juggalo or something.

Also, I'm afraid of finding reasons to like a woman, and then convincing myself that she and I are good for each other when we're really not. My last girlfriend and I totally weren't right for each other, and I was pretty sure that was the case from the beginning, but she was into me so I decided to continue plugging away until I decided I was in the relationship 100%. Then she dumped me because we were too different. If I hadn't been so twitterpated I probably would have noticed that sooner.

One of the former friends from the falling outs I mentioned earlier kind of had a crush on me I think, and I didn't reciprocate because I wasn't that into her, and I knew that if I made any effort to get involved with her, I would quickly get really emotionally dependent on her and then we'd break up. The writing was on the wall. She has a boyfriend now who's probably a dirty asshole and I have to wonder if the falling out we had wasn't at least partially due to a part of her resenting me for not dating her. I know there's women in my life who I resent for not dating me. Well, just one really, and it's not so much that she wouldn't date me as that I got the feeling that no matter what she'd always look down on me, even if she said she wanted to be my friend.

I think that's everything I've been meaning to talk about. If everything goes according to plan, I'll be putting up some lighter, more fun posts in the near future. Thanks for reading! Take care!