Portia de Rossi

Many people like myself, who like women in a way that is perhaps exceptional, have a celebrity crush. That is, a woman in the media who they have a passionate, ridiculous attraction to above all others. I haven't had one since I stopped being into Tina Fey a month or so ago. Then, I decided to re-watch Arrested Development, and I'd totally forgotten how I love Portia de Rossi with all my heart.

Seriously, the character she plays on Arrested Development is a pretty awful person, and I'm still attracted to her, so that should say something.

Also, back when I watched Arrested Development for the first time, and commented on how de Rossi was the most beautiful woman on earth, EVERY SINGLE TIME the person I said it to would respond 'You know she's a lesbian, right?' which I think is a really stupid thing to say. It's like, what, did they expect me to all of a sudden not think she was attractive because she isn't into men? Besides, it's not like her being gay worsens my chances with her, because there's no way I'm ever going to be within 100 feet of her, let alone have an opportunity to get romantically involved.

And you know what, I'm happy for Ellen. She deserves to have something like that to come home to, because I know her job looks glamorous on TV, but I think if I had to make my living having asinine conversations with dumb celebrities, I would go berserk after the first week. So way to go Ellen. You pop that pussy.

Now I'm going to post tons of pictures of de Rossi because I want her like a shark wants swimmers.