Thursday, September 9, 2010

The List


I was just cleaning off my desk, and I found this. You probably can't read it. So I'll explain.

Last July, I was going to go to Chico for Gruk's last show. I was also meeting up with one of my favorite friends, who moved to DC a couple of years ago, and I haven't seen in some time. A couple of nights before we were in Chico, we were talking on the phone about the trip and I was a little drunk, and I (with his help) started making a list of all the women in Chico who I had always sort of had a thing for, with the intent of catching up with them and seeing if now would be a good time to make something work.

Here's the list in all it's glory:

She's a really awesome girl who's really really cute and used to sing for this band called Dirty Sister, that I thought was good but not great. For a long time, she was dating this guy named Carlos who doesn't like me very much. I can't remember why she was crossed off the list, but it's probably because someone told me she was seeing someone.

Maria (AKA Mexican Emily)
I never officially met her when I was living in Chico, but I had a really nice conversation with her about a year ago when I did stand up for a Shankers show in Chico. We were both kind of drunk, but it seemed to me like we really clicked. Nobody I talked to knew anything about her current haunts or relationship status.

Kristie (AKA Corpus Kristie)
Kristie is my hairdresser and she's really nice and neat and interesting. She got crossed off because she's been in this on again, off again relationship with this guy named Jared for years now, and when I checked, it was on again. Jared's a really cool guy too.

She's this really colourful artist chick who I think has a kid, I never actually met her, but I thought she was cute from afar at a couple of art shows. A friend said that she was king of crazy, and I don't think I want that, so maybe it's okay that I never met her.

Becca @ Natty (AKA Becca who works at Chico Natural Foods)
She has a sort of small mouth and a weird nose, but in a really cute way. I'm not raggin' on her small mouth and weird nose, believe me. I think they're both adorable. Anyway, we were outside the Natty and I was remarking on how I was bummed that she wasn't working on the day that I was in Chico, and someone told me she was in a relationship that was pretty serious.

Sarah Kinavel
Sarah was in an acting class with me, and she was one of those girls who is shy and lacking in self confidence despite being totally adorable, which made me think I might have had a chance with her. I actually invited her to a stand up comedy show I did back in the day, and she didn't come, and I probably should have forgotten about her after that. In fact, I pretty much did, except when I was writing this list, I was drunk and I forgot about her not coming to the thing. Anyway, while I was in Chico, I couldn't find anyone who knew her so I just looked her up on Facebook, and Facebook says she's seeing someone.

She's this hippie chick with dreadlocks down to her ankles that I wanted to be in a band with me back in the day. She never showed up for practice (and in her defense, I wasn't being very diligent about making sure everyone in the band was on the same page) so that was that. She's gotta be in her thirties, so it would be a really weird and probably distressing relationship. I couldn't find out anything about her current whereabouts/relationship status.

I was trying to think of the name of this one girl, and I couldn't think of it, and my friend said he thought it might be Monica, but then it turns out we were thinking of two different girls.

Panama's Bartender
After I got back from Chico, somebody sent me a Facebook link to her and it said she was in a relationship. Also, she'd moved to Roseville or somewhere like that.

Jessica Roommates W/ Dana
I ran into Dana while I was in Chico and she said Jessica had moved and was in a relationship. I think she even said she was pregnant, but I don't remember. I was a little tore up at that point.

I didn't run into her or anyone who knew her current status while I was in Chico, but I found out later that she was moving and stuff. It's probably just as well, I think she was way outta my league. She has big boobs but was otherwise kind of alt cute, which means she could kind of have her pick of the litter. I'm not into big boobs really, so I'd probably give up on her before other men would. Does that make sense?

This girl named Naiya wrote her name and contact info on the back of the list. She runs a really cool sounding venue, and I can't wait for people in bands to contact me about getting a show in Chico, so I can send them her way. She's also really cool and drop dead gorgeous, but I'm not going to let myself get a crush on her, because I don't think I could get a crush on her without it turning around to bite me in the ass.

That's the end. There are a lot of other women in Chico who ought to have been on this list, but seeking out women isn't really that much fun anyway.

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