Saturday, September 25, 2010

It's Victoria's Secret Catalog Day!

First of all, I'd like to thank anybody and everybody who's been reading and sympathizing with over the past few weeks. I've been in a severe funk, and I'm not exactly Al Roker status happy now, but I'm doing a little bit better. I had a really good session with my psychiatrist on Thursday, cried my eyes out, and came away feeling a lot better. What I really need now is hope. Hope that I can find employment, and a band, and a sort of capability at life. Hope that I can get the heck out of this hideous little town and start hanging out with more kids that have similar interests. Hope that I can take inspiration from the troubles I've had coping with you-know-who and come upon a better tomorrow. The meeting with my shrink sort of gave me that. It's been a pretty successful day too. I'm five chapters into the novel I'm writing, and I think I'm going to be able to have my truck up and running by next week. That's going to improve my condition severely, having my own vehicle. Thanks for sticking by me during my dark times.

So I got the latest Victoria's Secret catalog. Well, I didn't, actually it was addressed to someone else and it was sent to my house by mistake. My parents and I agreed that it would be uncomfortable to try to give the catalog back to its intended recipient, and they probably didn't want anything out of it anyway. The kind of women that are in Victoria's Secret catalogs usually aren't the kind of women I'm especially attracted to, but two things in the catalog caught my eye.

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Apparently Victoria's Secret sells professional attire. I didn't know that, but that's good to know, because if I had to buy professional attire for a woman, now I'd know where to go. I like to shop at Men's Warehouse for my professional attire, and as the name would suggest, they don't sell much in the way of women's clothing.

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Speaking of gendered clothing, Victoria's Secret is selling something called a 'boyfriend cardigan.' If the reader chooses not to delve into the subtext of his or her Victoria's Secret catalog, the term 'boyfriend cardigan' is clearly bizarre. I speculate that the boyfriend cardigan is so named because it has its roots in the tradition of girlfriends acquiring a boyfriends old sweatshirts or other tops, which they can wear around the house and have fond thoughts of him. All those poor women who don't have boyfriends (and want them, because there's plenty of women who don't have boyfriends and are totally cool with that) have to spend $48 on a cardigan just so they can emulate the experience. In fact, if a woman doesn't want a boyfriend, the boyfriend cardigan is a great way to have the best parts of the single life and the best parts of a relationship, all in one. Or maybe the name 'boyfriend cardigan' is intended to insinuate that the cardigan is supposed to be bought for a woman by her boyfriend. Or maybe the whole phrase '$48 boyfriend cardigan' is the name of the clothing, and it's a cardigan intended for boyfriends that cost $48. The woman in the picture looks nothing like what I imagine a $48 boyfriend would look like, but there's probably a lot of airbrushing and what-have-you that goes on. Also, why is she chewing on her finger?

In related news, I randomly came across a Wikipedia article which states (and I quote):

There is some evidence that there may be a difference on how women online rate male attractiveness as opposed to how men rate female attractiveness. The distribution of ratings given by men of female attractiveness appears to look like a standard bell curve (normal distribution), while ratings of men given by women is highly skewed with 80% of the men rated as below average. This shows women are genuinely more picky than men when it comes to online dating. It could also potentially arise from women assessing other profile characteristics besides appearance, like their occupation for example.

I find that quote disturbing. Stop being so fucking picky, women of the world. I need some lovin', hot damn it!

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