Thursday, October 28, 2010

Long Knives Drawn

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I brought my record player into the computer room because I was going to start recording my vinyl onto my computer (backup, y'know). Anyway, I couldn't figure out how to do it so I started cleaning the room instead. Long Knives Drawn was the first vinyl record I bought after I got a record player in college (I had a turntable before that, but it broke). I bought it without even hearing it, just because I wanted more records. It's a record that's seen me at my worst. Shortly after I got it, I had my first 'I'm creeping you out and I don't understand why!' experience with a woman who I was convinced, CONVINCED was my soul-mate. Long Knives Drawn was the record that taught me how to weep. It's not even an especially sad record, but it was sad enough to be perfect.

I just put out four days of work as a substitute teacher at Discovery High School- a continuation school in Yreka, CA. The work was often awesome and often stressful, but no matter what, it left me, every night, feeling lonely. Just a moment ago, I was on crisis mode. I'm doing okay now. My breakdowns can be fleeting sometimes. Still, now that I'm one (admittedly small) step toward having my life together, it makes me wish I had an awesome girlfriend. Shit sucks.

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