Marie Forleo

My doctor told me I need to exercise more, so I decided the best way to do that would be with cheesy fitness videos that would at least allow me to stay indoors so nobody can see my fat punk ass breaking a sweat after running in place for two minutes. The first one I watched was called Dance Off the Inches: Tummy Tone Party Zone, and the woman who stars in it is named Marie Forleo. She's really good looking and nice and she's a pretty good cardio dancer.

Allison Mack

My father and I have been watching the first season of Smallville, and I think Allison Mack is so adorable it's almost offensive.



In this picture she appears to be wearing some kind of purple accordion. I chose it because a Google image search of 'Allison Mack' comes up with a whole bunch of pictures of her being all hella seductive, and this was the most unassuming one. You might be saying 'Hey, since when do you have a problem with hella seductive women?' and I don't, it's just, I have this crazy compulsion toward puppy love that has successfully ruined my life on multiple occasions, and it's with these eyes that I view Allison Mack. After all, in Smallville she plays a sweet, spunky, smart girl, not some smokin' hot babe. You get it, right?

City Counsel Person from Monsturd

Last night I was feeling lonely, as you might recall, and I decided the best course of action would be to watch movies until I passed out, therefor escaping having to lay around being lonely and trying to sleep. It sort of worked. I watched this movie called Monsturd (2003) which is about a giant killer poop monster. There's a woman who plays one of the city counsel members who is in it. She was cute. I tried to look her up on imdb but she wasn't listed. She didn't have a very big part, so I'm not surprised.

Leah Jung

So StumbleUpon has been sending me to pictures of tattooed, scantily clad women. I'm for it.



Leah Jung also does music, but it's really not anything that I was impressed by. Sorry Leah.

A Girl At Wal*Mart

I saw a girl at the Wal*Mart this morning who was cute. She worked in the pharmacy department. It was a Wal*Mart in Yreka, CA, so that sucks, because I hate Wal*Mart and I'm not very fond of Yreka. Also, as a side note, Wal*Mart has a bunch of wicked 'alternative' clothing to choose from these days. It reminds me of when they were selling shoes that said 'Punk Bands Rock' on them. I kind of wish I had those shoes now.

Blair N. Bitch

I watched the documentary Betty Blowtorch and Her Amazing True Life Adventures (2003) and for the most part I was really unimpressed with the film both in terms of filmmaking and subject matter. Betty Blowtorch's guitarist, Blair N. Bitch, however, seemed like she was leaning toward a more intellectual, concerned school of punk rock, and I like women like that. Also, her band wasn't terrible, they just weren't the kind of project I could really get behind.

Tampon Ad Girl

This is a tampon ad that pretends to be the anti-tampon ad, but it is itself just a tampon ad, which I suppose is intended to leave me feeling like the tampons advertised are refreshingly honest, but really I just noticed the cute girl.

Rachida Dati

Last night I had a dream that I was some manner of space explorer/warrior person and I had to save Rachida Dati's life from certain peril and after I did she loved me with all her heart. It was a good dream.

Girls On The Road

I left on Wednesday to go to a job interview in Petaluma, and tie up some loose ends around the bay area, finally stopping in Redding to see the Set it Straight reunion show. It was a wonderful trip, and while I didn't get done much of the stuff I intended to get done, I stayed very busy the whole time. After living in isolation up here at the ranch for a while, I had totally forgot how many scores of young and beautiful women are all over the bay area.

There were four experiences with women, one in Oakland and three in Redding, that were worth mentioning in particular.

First of all, I went to Whole Foods to pick up some Tempah and Seitan, and I got in Carmen's line to get checked out by her, and she left her checkstand (presumably because her shift was done) right before I was about to get checked out. This is the second time this has happened. I don't believe in fate, but if I did I think I would take it as a sign that I oughtn't get involved with Carmen.

The other three women were at Set it Straight's show. Tori and Rachel are two best friends whom I've known for a while now. Tori is really perky and fun and bubbly and I had a crush on her almost instantly because she said when she was a kid her favorite part of Pirates of the Caribbean was when the woman lifts her skirt over the pirate's face to give him a peek at her hoo-hah. Rachel is more reserved and shy, and I always get a vibe like maybe she doesn't like me, but she's probably just shy, because who wouldn't like me? Anyway, we caught up for a while, and played soccer together, and it was a blast.

Then there was this goth girl named Tasha who had a really cool hat on and I told her I liked her hat. Brad was trying to convince me to bang the shit out of her and all that stuff that Brad always says, but I was content to just meet a nice person and have fun with a bunch of Redding friends who I hadn't seen in a while. She was nineteen, which I decided at one point would be my cut-off point for dating young women. Still, I'm really not looking to date anyone right now. My life is sort of in a transitional period, and dating is such a crazy thing that I really want to have my feet on the ground before I even think about it.

Although, I had a friend date with this girl named Bree who contacted me on okcupid back in the day. She seems pretty cool, but I was straight up about not wanting to date anyone romantically at this point in my life, and she was cool with that. I did that on Thursday in Berkeley.

And I didn't get the job. Thanks for asking, though.

Amy Davidson

So I was watching Netherbeast Incorporated (2007), and the female lead was this cute girl who looked really familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on what I'd seen her in before. So I finally checked it out on the Internet, and she was Amy Davidson, who played Cammie on the Olsen twins vehicle So Little Time.



Interestingly, Cammie on So Little Time was still in high school, and approximately the same age as Mary-Kate and Ashley, but Davidson is older than I am by five years, and I am way to old to even watch, let alone appreciate Olsen twins entertainment, so it's kind of odd that Davidson is the same age as them onscreen.

Anne Parillaud

I watched Innocent Blood (1992) last night, and Anne Parillaud plays a vampire who seduces her victims with the whimsical, pouty French 'oh la la' routine.



I was glad I was not in the movie, because when she did said routine in the movie I wanted to take her out for dinner and dancing, and then afterward maybe stay in and watch an old black and white movie, or maybe just sit there together and watch the rain fall through the window. Thank goodness vampires aren't real. I am such a SUCKER for female charms.

Jean Shin

Jean Shin is a very adorable artist who does artwork that I find kind of unexciting. You can check out her art here.

Why Don't I Have A Crush On Laura-Mary Carter?

She's pretty, and her band is incredible.



I've listened to them for a while now, but I've never gotten a crush on her? Isn't that weird? I mean, I have a crush on all the women from Sleater-Kinney , and Lovefoxxx.

I don't get myself some times.

Brigitte Helm

I just watched Metropolis (1927) and I thought Brigitte Helm was really good looking in it. I kind of like the way women looked in the silent film era, which I guess is pretty goth of me.



I also think she did a pretty good job of portraying the human Maria and the robot Maria as two distinctly different people. I hope I'm not giving it away for anyone.

They referred to the robot Maria as 'the witch' several times in the movie, and it reminded me of the creepy ass hot witch list. It got me wondering if they ever did a hot robot list, and of course, somebody did. I don't think they gave robot maria a fair shot in it. I mean, she was way better looking when she didn't look like a robot (again, I hope I'm not giving it away here).

At The Pub

So I decided I wanted to get piss drunk tonight, and I had a couple of beers and then my father, out of the blue, decided we should go to the pub for dinner, so while I was there I drank some more, and the TV at the pub was watching BBC America and there were a couple of cute girls on. One of them had hoop earrings. Have I mentioned before that hoop earrings drive me nuts?

Also, there was some hick woman who my pop was talking to who was there. I think her name is Robin and I think I went to high school with her. She sounded like she's quite a woman by now. I didn't really like her in high school because she was racist and conformist. Now she seems pretty cool, like she has a 1970 Chevy Pickup that she's working on. That's rad.

Truth Be Known, I'm Just Procrastinating

So StumbleUpon sent me to this website the other day, and I couldn't decide if I thought she was cute or not.



Today, I decided that she's pretty cute, but she needs to friggin' wash her feet.

Witches

A lot of times, I wonder if I've gone to far with this blog, I mean, I talk about older women, younger women, and women who have boyfriends who I know. I even posted pictures from a camera card I found. As much as I've tried to embrace my sexuality as healthy and commendable, I still find myself constantly worried, I mean, I've creeped out far too many women in my time, and when that happens you tend to be wary of shit like that.

Anyway, I'll come across an article like this and I'll think that I'm such a pillar of positive sexual expression. I mean, Hermione? She's what, nine years old?

Postal Women

So last night I stayed up late to watch the Uwe Boll movie Postal (2007). The two best features of the film was the use of an eclectic variety of guns, and the inclusion of a number of very good looking women. The one I liked the best was played by Jackie Tohn, because she was the only woman in the whole film that was suggested to have some manner of substance. I guess the news reporter kind of had substance too, or at least ambition. At any rate, the film was pretty bad and by the end I really didn't like Tohn as much as I did in the begining.

A Road Trip

So a couple of months ago, a dude hit my car in San Francisco and totaled it. To make a long story short, in order to deal with the insurance company and finally take the thing to the junk yard, I had to go to Hayward yesterday. I went with my father and it was a long drive for just running an erred.

Along the way, I saw some women.

The first was a woman with a cute dog who was at the gas station in Yreka. She was pretty good looking. She sort of looked like this drugged out lady that lived downstairs from me at one point, only not drugged out.

The second was a woman who was driving her car. She was a large framed, tall woman, not heavyset, but more like a WNBA type of woman. Other than the fact that athletic women are hot as hell, the reason I liked her is that she has a Smashing Pumpkins bumper sticker and a Pearl Jam bumper sticker. I'm not a huge fan of either of those two bands, but I was in junior high and high school (respectively) and I think it's sort of cute that those are the bands she's into. Also, it gives her a hint of grunge sensibility, and the grunge era was the time in my life when I was first learning about what's cool and what's not, so I find it sort of endearing.

The third woman who caught my attention, is a woman who has been catching my attention for some time now. She's a controversial woman, both in the public sphere and in my own moral compass. The public finds her annoying. I find her work in advertising to be altogether too capitalist, but I certainly don't find her annoying.



My father and I stayed at a motel in Redding last night, because he didn't want to drive back to Etna while the road was icy. There was an advertisement on the TV at the motel for the opportunity to be in a commercial with Progressive Flo. I am so all over that. What the hell? It's not like I'm employed. The funny thing is, as of yesterday I officially don't own a car.

Bleak, and Bleak, and Bleak

I'm listening to CocoRosie radio on Pandora, and Joanna Newsom just came on. God, she's fantastic.

Jane Goodall

Let's face it. Jane Goodall is the hottest woman in the universe.



She's nice, and smart, and she's compassionate about animals, and she smiles a lot, and she has a cute accent, and she's looking pretty good for how old she is. I don't care what anyone says, Jane Goodall is the sex symbol for the twenty-first century.