So with this post I'm trying to make a really long story short. Here we go.
On Saturday, January 23rd, my amazing friend Nicole invited me to go out to the Hella Gay dance party at The Uptown in Oakland, claiming that this would be an opportunity for me to meet women. While perhaps on the surface, this advice sounds counter-intuitive, it was at least worth a shot.
Fulfilling my dork disposition to a T, I showed up about half an hour before Nicole and her posse did. I felt uncomfortable and depressed, so I decided to take a stroll, and wound up at the Quarter Pound Giant Burger on Telegraph, where I ordered some freedom fries (That later gave be food poisoning. I give the joint a big thumbs down.). While I was waiting for the food, a homeless girl began digging through the trash can in front of the building, found a cigarette, and proceeded to ask if anyone had a light. I enthusiastically offered her my fire, and she popped the already been smoked cigarette into her mouth and puffed away.
The kicker was, she was actually really cute.
Also, I saw a not-bad looking girl wandering around the club like she had shown up alone and was too introverted to enjoy herself, and I invited her to dance with me and my friends. She politely declined. Also, I tried dancing with this smoking hot girl who was a pretty good dancer to boot. She pretended like she didn't see me.