Two movies chock full of attractive women.

I don't know if I already mentioned this, but my parents have a Netflix instant play box for their TV. At first, I thought it sounded like a waste of money, but in truth, it's really awesome. To that end, I've been watching a lot of movies, and two that I watched recently featured just tons of good looking women.



The first movie was Two Brothers & A Bride (2003), which stars Emily Mortimer, who I've had a thing for ever since she was in Scream 3 (2000). The movie is about two brothers who seek out a 'mail order bride' in Russia, and they wind up meeting many women who were real lookers.



The second movie is The Machine Girl (2008), the plot of which in no way necessitates the abundant amount of attractive women seen on the screen (unlike Two Brothers & A Bride), however, the movie is purposefully ridiculous and outlandish, and to that end the copious amounts of cute girls the film features adds to the film's camp quality.

Mylika Davis et al.

So I haven't updated here in kind of a while, and the reason for that is, as faithful readers will recall, I'm at my parents' ranch in scenic Etna, CA, and there aren't many women I'm into around these parts. I've been staying pretty solitary since I got here, and even if I weren't most of the people who still live around here are my parents' age. Either that or their little kids. I don't play like that.

However, I finally saw some cute girls last night in the astounding film A Good Day to Be Black & Sexy (2008). Many of the women featured in this film were cute, and the cute one that got more of the screen time than any other woman in the film was Tamala, played by Mylika Davis. She kind of doesn't look very cuddly, but she's still really good looking.



See?

Crazy Ambulance Woman

Pretty Good Time Ambulance Driver - Watch more Funny Videos

I'm glad I don't know this woman, but at the same time, she is pretty cute.

Iguana Woman

It's pretty cool that this is the second reptile-related woman who I like this week.



Iguanas are so cool, and man, I love learning about iguanas from cute girls.

I saw a cute girl at the bank yesterday.

Yup.

Leila K

All I have to do to finish college is to write 1,500 more words on Gadamer. Instead I'm doing this.



When I was ten or eleven, I bought a cassette single of Leila K's Got To Get. I lost the tape shortly thereafter and wasn't able to hear the song again until youtube became a thang. At any rate, she's actually not to bad looking, and Got To Get is still a totally wicked dance tune. Check it out:

Lets Make This Quick.

I'm wicked hella stressed out from finals week. I don't want to spend much time on this.

This morning, Andrew sent me an email with a link to a page about a scarf model he thought was cute and he thought I would think was cute too.



Holy crap! She is cute. If I had more time on my hands, and was a more accountable person in general, I would totally look her up for Andrew like Dwight did for Michael with the chair model in that one episode of The Office.

Second order of business: While she wasn't a woman who I was very attracted to, I was getting an action drink (that's what I call energy drinks) at the gas station this morning and the clerk told me I was cute. I've never had anyone tell me I was cute flat out before, except for the waitress at The Cynch . You know, the one who allegedly used to go around on roller skates. Yeah her, she told me I was cute and then she kissed me on the cheek. I'm not sure if she's a transsexual woman or a drag queen or what, but nevertheless it was a flattering gesture on her part, but I digress. A woman at the gas station told me I was cute this morning, and it was awesome. She was at least 45 and I can't honestly say I was very attracted to her, but my father, who I told about it, thinks I should still go for it. I love my dad.

Finally, on my way home from taking a final, this minivan driven by a soccer mom (It even had those family decals on the back, so I know she had about five kids.) was trying to get into my lane, and I let her in. I'm not sure why, but I'm very often quite attracted to flustered pre-nihilist soccer moms. How that could possibly work itself into a relationship (besides a sordid affair, which is totally not my thing) I'm not sure.

I Quite Enjoy Seeing Cute Girls on Campus.

I was totally planning on listing the cute girls I saw on campus today, but there were about twelve. That's too many to remember. I'll try though.

One was driving a car. One was kind of punkish. One was the secretary of the history department and she was nice and helpful. One had a nose ring and was sort of goth. One was short and kind of frumpy looking and wore a green cardigan. There were others, but that's all I remember.

They Should Build A Statue of Me.

Or they could just name a mountain after me.

Why? Because I'm a twenty five year old man who's never been in a relationship (official or otherwise) with a woman for more than a couple of months. I've been kicked around more times than I care to think about. I've been hurt and stabbed in the back. I've gotten to the point where I would look in the mirror and want to tear my own face off, because I was so sick of being in my body. I survived when, a bright eyed and bushy tailed nineteen year old punk rocker, I came to someone with my heart in my hand, only to have her flip out on me, and two weeks later start screwing the best friend I'd made in Chico by that point. I survived when someone else made it very clear she didn't even respect me or see me as an equal right after one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I've survived after, six years of adolescent longing blossomed into the profound respect of a young adult and allowed me to finally work up the courage to approach a third someone and ask her out, only to have her say she had a boyfriend. I've survived the countless, countless times when friend and friend have picked on my incessantly, calling my every mannerism 'creepy' making me feel like a weak, deplorable, sliver of a man. I've survived more self-hate and loneliness than anyone else I know, and now, tonight, I've come to say 'Fuck you if you don't respect me. I should be your hero' This isn't about my life, or the women in it. This one's for me. I'm more of a man than most will ever be. Most people couldn't imagine going through what I've gone through and still being able to get up in the morning, let alone do the things I've done and make the world a better place in the way I have. I am everything the world needs, and my unimpressive romantic resume hasn't killed me, but has only made me stronger.

Girl on a Checkout Bar Advertisement

You know those plastic bars that they have at the supermarket that you put between your groceries and the groceries of the next person in line at the checkout stand? I don't know if there's an actual name for them. Anyway, at the Dangerousway the bars have little advertisements on them, and I noticed one as I was buying soda this evening that had a cute girl on it. I don't know what the advertisement was for, but she was cute and she had a light bulb going off over her head like she just had a great idea. It would be a really great idea for her to go out with me because I am creative and a good listener and I have rugged good looks.

Molly Gleet

I just got back from the laundromat. They had the (American) football game on the TV in there. During the halftime show, Dr. Pepper was sponsoring some dumb competition. One of the women who they got to compete was kind of cute though. I'm pretty sure her named was Molly Gleet.

A Cute Girl At 7-Eleven

Convenience stores can rarely boast that their late-night clientele are the highest caliber of social class. However, as I've been staying up late trying to watch an Andrei Tarkovsky film, and as Tarkovsky made movies that one has to be very patient to watch, and as I get easily distracted by, say, my desire for a soda, I haven't put a very large dent in the film, and I chose to take a break from movie watching to visit the local 7-Eleven.

Surprisingly, there was a really cute traveling girl there. She had that kind of freckley redhead look, and she looked quite hygienic for a traveling kid. My guess is that her real name is either Hailey or Megan, or maybe Liz. She probably goes by 'Sparrow' or something equally ridiculous.

Kirstie Alley

So I watched Runaway (1984) last night, and that's the first time in a long time that I've seen Kirstie Alley in her heyday. I had completely forgotten that she was, at one time, a very good looking woman. I feel kind of sorry for her, because it seems like she's probably had a pretty stressful life since that time. Also, she gets typecasted as a crazy lady a lot.

Brooke From Whole Foods And A Mom At The Taco Truck

I'm  in kind of a weird mood, because I'm almost totally done with my bachelors degree, and I'm a little apprehensive about my life undergoing such a huge change.

Anyway, today was my last day of classes before finals week, so I went to Whole Foods to stock up on junk food in preparing for finals week. Note that I don't care for Whole Foods. It's an unnecessary evil, as it is the only source of vegan cake that I know of in the bay, and I rarely if ever feel like baking myself. So I went there, and I was checked out by a quite attractive woman named Brooke who looked a little like Jacquetta Wheeler. She was very nice, but (and maybe I'm just looking for reasons to dislike Whole Foods) it seemed to me that she wasn't being nice to be nice. Rather, she was being nice to show off how alternative she was. I mean, the entire Whole Foods establishment is built upon trying to express this image of 'See the Dangerousway? That's not us!' Part of that is showing off how much nicer and more human the clerks are. Fucking hipsters. Besides, I've had some really nice clerks who checked me out at Dangerousway. I want to meet someone who's nice to me because they like being nice, not because they need to prove a point. Dig?

(I call Safeway 'Dangerousway' in case you haven't figured that out yet.)

After going to Whole Foods, I stopped by my favorite taco truck in the bay area, Tacos El Novillo in Fruitvale. When I got there, there was a very pretty woman waiting for her food with her kid. She seemed like she was probably a really good mommy, but she was really tired from a long day and ready to get to bed.

A Girl Who Works at Los Dos Gallos Taqueria and The A Teacher's Assistant

So I had to drive to Union City this morning to get my tires changed (Why couldn't I get it done in Hayward? It's a long story.) and while that was happening, I got breakfast at a hole in the wall place across the street called Los Dos Gallos Taqueria. There was a young lady who was working there who was very cute, and the burritos there were actually really pretty good. Also, there was a cool mural that depicted the cockfight that the restaurant was named after. For a day where I sunk close to three hundred dollars into my car, it was pretty good.

Also, I realized today that one of the assistants in my biology class is really cute. Today was our last class session, so I'll probably never see her again. That's okay, also I was a little embarrassed, because we had to do class evaluations today, and in the section where we were asked to include any comments we had, I drew a picture of a demon with a cool helmet, and the teacher's assistant kind of noticed. Therefore, a cute girl caught me being immature, which is a little crappy.

A look back in long pleated skirts.

Remember when hipster girls were all dressing like little old ladies? While I found the fad to be rather fashionable, I'm sort of glad that it's over, because more than once I found myself at first glance thinking 'Hey, there's a cute hipster girl.' and then proceeding to start checking her out, only to discover that she was actually a little old lady. Did anyone else do this?