Night of the Living Melt-Banana

Last night, I saw what was indubitably one of the best shows in my entire life.



Melt-Banana (AKA MxBx) has been one of my favorite bands for years now, but they've never been my very most favorite. I feel like that has changed as of last night.

Trying to keep this focused on women: I've met very few girls who like Melt-Banana, and those that I have met are mostly into the band because they're boyfriend turned them onto them. Last night, old friends from Chico and newer friends from Sacramento were at the show, and I had to navigate between three different groups of friends. Of those groups, there were four girls. All of them were there with their boyfriend. There's only one who I can say for sure would have shown up even if her boyfriend didn't want to go.

So that sucks. It would be nice to go to a place where there's girls to be met, and not have to put up with lousy music for my efforts. Furthermore, I'm done dating women with differing taste in music. It may seem shallow or callous or misguided, but I'd say almost everyone I know who gets me also gets the music that I listen to, and almost everyone who doesn't get the music I listen to doesn't get me. There's definitely exceptions, but relationships are a lot of work, and taking a gamble on a girl who says things like 'I don't see why you like Nick Drake so much more than Jack Johnson. It's basically the same thing.' to my mind, is just asking to get hurt.

But hey, you know who's cute, and ostensibly gets the music that I listen to? Yasuko Onuki, of Melt-Banana.



I have a crush on her just for owning such a cool sweater.

I certainly don't mean to imply I don't also have a crush on bassist Rika Hamamoto, but at both MxBx shows I've been to, she hasn't made any audience banter, and so I don't feel like I know her as well. She's still really cute and plays rad music though.

On a 'personal victories' digression, I'm 25, unemployed, with no girlfriend, and no band, but instead of standing toward the back and feeling dorky during MxBx's set, I got right into the most pit, and had a blast. It was a really meaningful experience for me. It reminded me that in spite of everything, I haven't given up. It reminded me of what a really exciting, special, P.F.R. person I really am.

Happy Halloween!

Yet Another Cluster Post

Man, I keep getting apathetic to update this. It's not good.

So I just watched Xtro (1982) and overall the film was pretty terrible, but Maryam d'Abo, who was also in The Living Daylights (1987) as the woman who plays the cello, was very good looking.



Yesterday, I got a vaccine for H1N1, and I discovered that all the women there were really cute. I don't know why, but nurses are all cute. It makes me wish I was in the nursing program, instead of stupid philosophy.

Although, and this is the third subject of this post, there was a really cute girl in my Roots of Contemporary Philosophy class. I think I didn't notice her before because she doesn't show up to class very often and neither do I. She had little motorcycle earrings and a Harley Davidson hoodie, which leads me to believe we wouldn't be compatible. I think motorcycles are a great idea, but Harleys are intentionally louder than they need to be and my neighbor owns a Harley and he drives it when I'm trying to sleep and I hate it. Other than that, she seemed nice.

Japanese Cheese Curry Commercial Woman

This woman is pretty, though the commercial doesn't really register very high on the Japanese far out television scale.

I Rememberd What I Forgot & Cute Girl Outside Grocery Store

So last Sunday, October 25th, I went to my cousin's son's (I think that makes him my cousin once removed.) first birthday party. On the way there, I stopped at a Target to get a card. The woman who rang me up was very cute, but in a way that you know every boy within 100 feet of her has picked up on. She was the kind of girl who could get any boy she wants. I kind of can't get into girls like that. See, what I have to offer a woman is something very genuine, and I'm not willing to battle it out with every other person who likes girls in order to demonstrate that. I hate that whole scene. I mean, I think we should try to move past this sort of 'bucks ramming their antlers together to impress the does' philosophy of dating and relationships. I'm not a polyamorist either. Not that I have a problem with polyamory, but I really don't think I could enjoy a relationship like that. Modern romance fiction has tried to suggest a scenario where a woman is beautiful in her own way, and nobody sees why she is special, until a man shows up and realizes is able to see the real her. Sometimes I think this kind of setup to a romantic relationship is unlikely in the real world. If you notice a girl is special, chances are you're not the first, even if she's special in a peculiar, quirky way. Furthermore, I think a hope for this kind of romantic setup can cause men to prey vampirically on women with low self esteem, exploiting their poor self image to gain a relationship from them, and I don't mean to imply that these men are trying to do something wrong. I just think 'She has low self esteem and I need to be the one to save her' is setting oneself up for a horrid relationship.

I was walking to the grocery store a couple of hours ago and I saw a cute girl. She was really thin. Some guys don't like thin women. I had a friend tell me that he felt skinny women looked 'sickly.' I'm certainly not implying that I'd be more attracted to women in a world where anorexia was a rule. I think there's a lot of really cute women who are hardly rail thin, even obese. However, there are some really cute skinny minnys out there.

So much to cover.

I've been quite busy as of late. I haven't updated here when I really ought to have.

First off, long time WWCL reader, Devon Turner, or Socorro, NM, notified me that I would probably have a thing for Terri Wahl, who used to be in Red Aunts and now has a cooking show.


He's right!

Additionally, I thought I had a Red Aunts album, and I was saying to myself 'Hey, wasn't Exene Cervenka (of X fame) in that band? Turns out I was thinking of Auntie Christ. So maybe I don't know who Red Aunts are. I'm not sure though. Thanks to the Punk-O-Rama series, I've heard most bands on Epitaph from around that time, but I digress.

Secondly, about ten minutes ago someone alerted me to a new video/song by the female comedy music duo Garfunkel and Oates. I've had a crush on both of them ever since I first heard them (it was the song about pregnant women).



I'm kind of bummed out by this one, because Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough is my favorite Michael Jackson song, next to Smooth Criminal, and now I will probably be seen as less attractive in the band's collective eyes.

Earlier today, I asked my lab partner, Jennifer for her phone number, so that if I had a question concerning our homework I could ask her. Was I being genuine? You bet. Sure she's really cute and fun to talk to, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm kind of drifting off into space in the class and could use the help. She told me she didn't want to give me her number, because she was just as confused in class as I was, and she didn't want to lead me astray. I should have told her that in any case, two heads would be better than one, but I didn't think to say that until a second ago when I was getting a glass of water.

I think she said 'no' because I'm growing my beard out. I know very little about what girls like and dislike, but I get the feeling that the overwhelming majority of women dislike beards.

I know there's more women who I wanted to talk about, but I can't remember who now.

The Women of Cafe du Nord

Tonight I made a new rule for myself: no more going to shows where I won't know anybody. Even though musically the show tonight was off the hook, the whole process of driving to San Francisco, parking in San Francisco, and hanging around rich San Francisco bohemians was distressing. If I had a mate there to chop it up with, things might have been okay, but otherwise it's more trouble than it's worth.

With this backdrop in mind, let me say that rich San Francisco bohemian women are, seemingly without exception, absolutely gorgeous. Everyone was all dressed up in formal evening wear, and women were classy and fashionable. You know the expression 'She's out of your league.' Well, this is the league that all those women play it. A League of Their Own.

The band I was at Cafe du Nord for was Rykarda Parasol & The Tower Ravens. Parasol herself is quite the knockout.



The reason I know about the band is because I interviewed her for the Chico News & Review a couple of years ago. You can read that interview here. I suppose that if I worked really hard at it, I could hoist myself up into the world of cool that she lives in, but I'm not terribly sure that I would be happy in that life.

This post has little to do with cute girls. Sorry about that. There were an abundance of cute girls at the show. I also saw a cute girl in the parking lot at the bank today. Or maybe it was yesterday. I can't remember.

Aunt Kelly

Yesterday, I found out about a children's book called 'Walter The Farting Dog' by William Kotzwinkle. In my research, I discovered a woman who read the book as though she were an elementary school librarian, and spiced up the video with a bevy of farting noises, which, while kind of dumb, leaves me endeared to her immaturity. Also, she's cute and she has cute glasses. Immature potty humor is always going to be a good thing in my book, which perhaps Aunt Kelly will read on youtube some day.

Jennifer Eagan

I visited my philosophy adviser, one Jennifer Eagan, today. Suffice to say that I am of the opinion that she is a quite handsome woman.

I read this story once about a guy who had a teacher that he thought was a major babe, we'll say her name was Teresa Graves, and he forgot his password to get into some online thing, so he asked her to look it up for him. It turns out that his password was something like 'iwanttobangmrsgraves.' This is an example of something that one should not do.

Although if Teresa Graves was my professor, I would certainly look forward to getting to know her better.

I know posting this could get me in a really uncomfortable situation with the CSU East Bay staff, and I'm rather worried that Dr. Eagan will be googling herself one day or something. I think this post demonstrates how dedicated I am to this blog, since I'm still posting this in spite of all the dangers.

I need to start being more breif.

I just realized that last post was approximately 900 words. I want to supplement this blog with some shorter posts in the future.

Exposé: Girls in Bands

I think the topic of girls in bands deserves some further examination. Also, it's midnight on a Monday (technically a Tuesday) and I'm still crushing on Bjorn something fierce.

The truth is, I've never been in a band or other musical project that I felt really satisfied with. I'm somewhat bad with money (though I've gotten a lot better about it) and most of the technique and tactile skills required to play music are Greek to me, and I'm also the kind of person that gets easily bored with creative projects if I can't produce the results I want in a short amount of time (I'm also getting better about this). When I was talking to Bjorn the other day, I pretended to myself that I was in a really cool band so that I'd be more confident. It worked pretty well.

Maybe my lacking band resumé is a blessing in disguise, because I find 'band girlfriend' relationships abominable. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who lacks passions of her own and adopts whatever the guy she's with as her interests. It's fine if your partner turns you on to a good band or whatever, but I've seen so many women who begin to live vicariously through their boyfriend's band, and that's neither healthy or rewarding for either person in that relationship. It's really not.

I bring this up, because while I know this format for a relationship is cursed at best, the world we live in is set up where men are supposed to impress women with something. If a girl is cute, and fun to be around, and in an awesome band, how the heck am I supposed to impress her? I noticed that after I saw Kawaiietly Please's set at the NoiseFest, I immediately was flooded with self hate. 'If I could just be in a band that was equal or greater to the awesome of Bjorn's band, then maybe she'd want to talk to me more. If I could just act more charming and charismatic. If I could just loose thirty pounds and grow at least six inches taller...'

This sort of reaction certainly isn't unique to women in awesome bands, but it happens a lot. I think I was able to collect myself rather well with Bjorn. I was going to tell her straight up that I'd really like to get to know her better, but I didn't, and it's because I chickened out, but it's also because by the time I was chatting with her she was drunk. Also, if I lay myself at her feet like that and she laughed in my face, that would make the long drive back to the bay area a really unpleasant one. My car doesn't have a working radio, so I wouldn't even have that to distract me from the rejection blues.

So that was a long-winded way of saying that cute girls in bands are very intimidating.

There's two cute girls in bands that I got crushes on in my life that really stand out to me.

The first is Keely from The Gay Science. They jumped onto a show at The Broken Glass House right after I'd changed the name to The Langolier. The show had a bunch of high school metal bands on it and about two hundred people showed up. The Gay Science and the other bands they were touring with and I really hit it off, because while we appreciated high school metal, none of us were really of that scene. I'm listening to that YouTube video I linked to right now, and it's a really poor example of The Gay Science's music. I still listen to their album pretty regularly, and I love it to death. Keely and co. were just super cool and she was really damn cute.

The second is Kia from Mixel Pixel. They played at a bar and I think I was the only one who showed up who knew who they were. They put on a really awesome show and I offered to let them crash at my place. We all went back to my house and one of my roommates was still up and everyone smoked pot except me because I was Straight Edge at the time. Kia was really nice. I don't think we really saw eye-to-eye, because she was excited to do the Chico thing (i.e. She was hoping to go to a frat party.) and at the time (and to this day) I viewed the Chico party scene as detrimental to what is great about the town, and I hated it for this reason. Still, she was a very high-on-life individual, who was genuinely happy to have a place to stay and excited to meet someone who was into what her band was doing. She gave me some soap and lip balm that she made herself ('and it's vegan!' she exclaimed when she presented it to me) and I still have the lip balm. I actually just took it out to give it a sniff and describe the scent, and I think it's gone bad. I didn't know lip balm could do that.

I should stress that Kia and Keely are far from the only women in bands who I've had crushes on. They're just the two most quintessential examples of such.

The Women of NorCal NoiseFest

I just got done spending the last three days at NorCal NoiseFest. I've wanted to go to it for a long time, and this was one of those weekends where I really needed to get away from everything in my life. I'd like to talk about how incredible the experience was, but that isn't the nature of this blog.

The first night, after the show was over, there was a party in this guy's office, and I mentioned to Andrew that we should go in case any cute girls were there. Andrew lamented 'The only cute girl who ever comes to NoiseFest is Bjorn.'

While the afterparty itself was certainly a cute girl free zone (I think there was one woman there, and she was seeing someone, and there was an age difference thing that was very pronounced), it became very apparent the next morning that Andrew's observation was about to be turned on its head. I lost count, but a rough estimate of somewhere between twelve and fifteen cute girls were present. A few were there to support their boyfriend's band, but at least three or four were actually doing noise projects themselves, and I know I'm not alone when I say that there are few qualities in a woman more attractive than being in an awesome band. Especially if they're in an awesome band because they like doing music. I've seen a few bands where someone in the band had a crush on a girl, and invited her to play bass in his band, hoping that if he made her part of a cool band she'd be into him. That's not as attractive.

On the third day, around eighteen thirty in the evening, I met Bjorn.



Bjron is the proprietor of a band called 'Kawaiietly Please.' Spelling 'quietly' this way makes me feel like pronouncing the word the way Nina Hagen might say it. The band consists of her creating tones and loops and stuff with effects pedals and the like (In case you're not familiar, this is a common noise setup.) with a drummer beat-blasting. At the show they did yesterday, Bjorn presented the audience with several boxes of cheaply made stuffed animals, which the audience were then allowed to fling around the room, or tear to pieces, or create any and all other mayhem with. Oh, and she made herself up like some kind of combo between Raggedy Ann and Rainbow Bright if they both had taken up a life of crime to fuel their cocaine habits. So it was a pretty fun and intense show.

There were many cute girls, but all my crushes very quickly (Kawiickly) went to Bjorn. She's adorable, and extreme, and the short conversation with her that I had before she was drunk made it seem like she was probably pretty cool. Still, a couple of red flags went off:
A: She's from LA, and I could go on for a while about how much I loathe LA.
B: Sometimes, I feel like people who perform with an over-the-top visual display, are actually covering up for the fact that deep down inside, they're really boring. This has been my big complaint about Marilyn Manson. I didn't get a chance to sit down and chat with Bjorn enough to make sure that she's not just another Marilyn Manson. That would stink if she was.

As long as I'm in the bay area, I guess I shouldn't worry about it.

Oh, and we were having breakfast on somebody's porch on Saturday, and a cute girl at an autobody shop across the street started setting off firecrackers. Reckless behavior is sort of attractive, I guess.

Many Attractive Women Sighted on Campus

I don't know why, but for the first time in a while I noticed that there's a lot of cute girls on campus while I was heading to class earlier today (today being Thursday the 15th). I usually don't pay attention. I'm pretty jaded toward the whole school thing at this point.

This was one of those 'God, I hate being single' days that creep up on you every now and then. I could go into detail, but y'all don't want to hear that. If it wasn't for days like this, my life would be pretty perfect, really.

Ashley Dollar Tree

I think I should start hanging out at the Dollar Tree more often, or perhaps even get a job at one. The reason I say this is based on two things I noticed today when I was getting windmill cookies (The Dollar Tree is the only place I know of that has vegan windmill cookies).

1. Typically, the only people at the Dollar Tree are elderly.
2. Typically, the people who work at the Dollar Tree are really cute girls.

The first observation isn't very surprising. Old people usually aren't working the nine to five, and they love to make a penny scream. The second observation, however, baffles me. Ostensibly, there's no feature of being a cute girl that would lend itself to working at the Dollar Tree. It's not like coffee shops.

Anyway, a clerk named Ashley and I had a flirty exchange today as I was getting two packages of cookies. Ashley noticed a couple of bills on the ground behind an older woman, she chased down the woman, and asked her if she'd dropped the bills. The elderly woman accepted the bills in a way that seemed sort of sly and shady. When Ashley got back to the register, the conversation went as follows:

Ashley: I don't think that was her money.
Chuck: She's old. She can get away with it.
Ashley: (laughs) Well, if I kept it I'd get fired, so I might as well give it to someone. I should have given it to you. Your total is two dollars anyway.

And the conversation went on from there. I enjoyed myself immensely. Have you ever noticed that there's a lot of cute redheads named 'Ashley' out there? I don't know how this name/hair combo could have been orchestrated, but I'm for it.

Jennifer, My Lab Partner

I'm been spending the last few weeks trying to decide if I like my lab partner, Jennifer or not. Today I decided that I probably do, and at the very least, I'd like to get to know her in a situation where we could chop it up about this and that and my utter incompetence with a microscope wasn't the presiding tension between our interaction. She's cute, and she gets my jokes about 60% of the time, which is better than most. Today during the lab, our instructor was wearing a sleeveless raincoat, and I told Jennifer I should get one of those for when I want my arms to get wet and my torso to stay dry. I don't think she got that I was joking, but then she kind of realized that I was probably joking and smiled like she wasn't sure if she should be smiling or not and she was kind of confused.

I've asked out girls that I had a class with before. It's tricky, because if they say 'Gross! No!' then the rest of the semester is going to be decidedly uncomfortable every time you see each-other during class. On the other hand, you can't wait until after the final to ask them out, because unless the both of you finish at the same time, one of you will have turned in the final and left before the other. In conclusion, I'm about as good at asking out girls I have a class with as I am at using a microscope.

Woman at the bank.

I saw the most adorable woman at the bank today. I was filling out a withdrawl slip, and she came over and asked if I knew the date. She was tallish, with shoulder-length red hair, and she was dressed in a way that was flamboyant but authentic, like she was dressing slightly colourfully because she enjoyed it, as opposed to because she needed to impress hipsters. I don't meet many women like that anymore.

She asked me if I knew the date. 'I believe it's the ninth.' I said. 'That'll work.' she replied.

She had a big personality, and I loved it. I imagine she probably brightened up the day of the bank clerk by being friendly and possessing a vigor for life. It's always nice to meet people like that. I try to display a similar character, after all, who doesn't love those kinds of people, and I could stand to get loved now and then. It's a hard personality to manage in trying times though.

Anna Karina

I feel bad because I haven't posted on here in a while. I suppose it's for a couple of reasons.

A: I came to the realization, that if I made sure to record any time I found anything attractive in a woman, then every time I went out for the weekend, there'd be about a billion posts of 'I just saw a girl with sort of 1920's style short haircut and cute socks.' Some people may want to read that, but I don't want to write all that. It's bloody exhausting, so I've been using a little bit of discretion.
B: I really just haven't ran into that many women as of late. I haven't been going out that much, and I go through bouts of introversion sometimes, where I would just rather sit at home and read and write and do other nonsocial activities than even talk to the clerk at the grocery store. However, now that I think about it, I did have a pretty cool conversation with the clerk at the Dollar Tree this morning. I was buying a dozen toy swords for a project I'm working on, and she mentioned that they were pretty cool toy swords for just a dollar. I agreed. It wasn't much of an interaction, but like I say, I've been feeling antisocial.

So, since I haven't posted anything, I decided I'd mention that I just watched Alphaville (1965) and I liked Anna Karina in it and she's cute.



Still, I wasn't super excited by how cute she was. Maybe I'm just going through a phase where I'm not interested in women like I usually am. I suppose it's possible. Honestly, it's been a weird day, and any further analysis as to why this blog has hit a slump would simply be TL;DR.

Lenore Skenazy

Sometimes I wonder, 'Do I have a thing for X type of women?' and I usually resolve that, no, I don't have a thing for X type of women in particular, but there are some attractive women who happen to be X type, and I really like women, so I pick up on that.

Enter Lenore Skenazy, she's the New York Sun (RIP) writer who made waves by letting her kid ride the subway by himself. She's a very New York City woman with a very New York City accent, and I would be a little surprised if I found out she's a goy.

Do I like New York girls? Do I like New York probably Jewish girls? It's a tricky question to answer, because I don't really know any. The first example of New York girls that comes to my mind is Sex And The City, and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to get involved with any of the women on that show after watching the first four seasons or so, and watching them dump hundreds of guys for superficial reasons. However, all the women on that show are sort of insightful in a neat way. Except Charlotte. Nobody likes Charlotte. I feel bad for Charlotte because nobody likes her. I'd date Charlotte, but only if she doesn't try to change me.

But imagine, if you will, the case of Lenore Skenazy. I just watched an interview with her, and she seemed like a great conversationalist and she thought about stuff all the time and had interesting things to say about it, and I bet she knows where all the good food is in New York, and maybe we could go ice skating at 30 Rock and catch a play on Broadway before rounding out the night with bagels. And getting Mohawks and killing pimps for Jodie Foster, because that's what people in New York are like.

I've also noticed that pretty much every woman who's in the media that I talk about on here is significantly older than I am (I turned 25 yesterday). I think this is because the media doesn't depict many twenty-something women who are smart, intellectual, and genuine. Or maybe I have a thing for women in their thirties and forties. I'm cool with that.

Anna Gaskell

I don't pay much attention to photography. However, I do notice the Gap advertisements that take place during The Office. That's how I know about Anna Gaskell, and what do I know about Anna Gaskell? She's cute and she either has large feet or wears shoes that are uncomfortable (and without socks?). That's all I need to know for this blog.

Cute Girl in an SUV

I was driving to the post office to turn in my Netflix, and in the next lane there was a cute girl. Judging from her bumper stickers, she's a psudeo-alternative Snot Topic shopper who is the weird one in her friend group, but all her friends are perfectly normal, and so's her boyfriend (I got all that from a generic Skull & Crossbones bumper sticker and a sticker for some band I hadn't heard of, I'm quick to judge like that). She was short and driving a tall car, so I could only see the top half of her head, but it was a cute top half. Also, she kind noticed when I tried to check her out, so I did that whole 'Hum-de-dum, I'm just looking in that general direction and it has nothing to do with you being there.' thing, so there's another reason why I couldn't tell exactly how cute she was beneath about the ridge of her nose.